Page 70 of The Replay

I must tread carefully. Or I'll end up right where it all began.

Chapter 22

Mariana

Mariana: I think I want to make friends here in Seattle. Is that a bad idea?

Cora: Why would it be a bad idea?

Mariana: Because I'm leaving in five months.

Cora: And? You don't need to train pigeons these days to keep in touch.

Mariana: What if the best chance at friends these days comes from Dom's group? Does that change your opinion?

Cora:Depends. What's the goal? To have friends of your own or to put questions in Mom and Dad's heads? Because either way, I fully support it.

Mariana: The goal is to expand my horizons. Career goals? In progress. Learning from my mistakes? Trying really hard. What about making friends for once? Gee, now I'm really trying to go for my wildest dreams. The ones where I have the kind of resume I want AND people with whom I belong. To have both kind of blows my mind to be honest.

Cora: I say go for it!! Especially since this particular group will put thoughts in Mom's head.

Mariana: Ugh, I know. She'll wonder if I'm just making friends, or if Dom and I are on a path of no return. The kind that could make me go back on what I say I want, and end up abandoning my plans again.

Cora: Let her. That was her worry the first time around, and you still went back to London.

Mariana: That's basically what Dom said, too.

Cora: He did, huh?

Mariana: I would rather you don't start imagining things either :( I said friendship,didn't I?

Cora: Then you're stronger than I am, because I don't think I could be friends with an ex.

Mariana: Sigh. We have our weekly breakfast in a few days. Why don't you explain to me what you mean then?

Cora: Perfect. But let's also save some time to imagine the way these friendships will send Mom into a tailspin. She won't know what to think! And isn't that a fun thing to imagine?

Chapter 23

Dom

A little over two months after attending Cora's party on my own, I show up to another casual get-together with no one on my arm. It's fine. It's really helping me focus on my performance in a season that is already demanding so much from me. That's one point toward the 'everything is handled' column in this new tally I'm trying to keep.

Saint welcomes me to his home with a big, proud smile. We're about to watch the first episode of Ames' cooking show. They told me not to bring anything, but I give him a bottle of champagne anyway. I'm happy for them. Truly. I mean it. It's on me to handle the feelings I get, when I think about how good it used to be when I could be this happy.

The way life seemed easier to go through, when I could look to the side and trust I'd have someone to hold my hand. Days when clouds could never fully hide the sun. Having that feeling of home, sweet home, wherever I went, only because my heart trusted so completely.

Back then, I felt invincible. It's funny. Maybe that's why her departure didn't scare me enough and I fell so deeply in love.

It's okay. I'm much wiser today. This time, I won't forget she'll leave. No need to take all this time together as a sign I'll fuck up and forget my mother's lessons again.

I'm given a drink and led to the big balcony. Saint and Ames live in a high rise condo, with a decent view of Lake Washington. For the event, they got the terrace temporarily redecorated. Some sort of tent covers the place with heaters to protect from the November weather, and sizable, transparent swaths of material allow us to overlook the city beneath us. At the front, a large screen where I assume we'll watch the show. Directed at it, a few love seats make room for everyone to watch comfortably.

An informal, yet very comfortable outdoor cinema.

"We have appetizers on the side tables," Saint explains. "Ames' team is helping us tonight."

As a chef with a catering business, this is right in her wheelhouse. Having had her food before, I'm excited and end up peeking at the side tables, happy to see cheeses, cold meats, and other standard charcuterie assortment.