Page 56 of The Replay

"I'll give it to you," he croaks.

I moan, long and controlled, knowing how wild it made him to feel that on his cock. I suck on the head. My hand rubs his shaft, up and down, up and down.

"Hands off," he says.

His fingers latch to the back of my head, pulling at my hair as he fixes me in place. He fucks my mouth, his hips jerking in and out, abusing my lips. The back of my mouth.

Until he comes. I swallow fast, delighting in the guttural sound he lets out.

"Holy fucking shit," he says several seconds later.

I retreat and wipe my mouth with the back of my fingers. Without thinking, I reach for his hand. He reads my intention and helps me up to my feet.

The little light on his phone shuts down. I stand in the middle of the dark metal box, hearing the sounds of Dom putting himself back together.

"The flashlight must have an auto shut off." He clears his throat. "To conserve battery."

"I don't need it right now."

"Feeling better?"

"In most ways."

In the silence that follows, I can hear our breathing and nothing else.

"In the dark," he whispers. "Here where we can't see, we could share a secret or two."

"One secret is what we just did." I lick my lips.

And one of mine would be how much I want to use this calm and this bliss, to let myself feel brave and connected with someone else, and believe for a short while that I don't have to be alone with everything.

"The other?" I add.

"Mariana."

"What will we confess in the dark?"

Chapter 18

Dom

I'm fully dressed and still catching my breath. I can't see a thing. A weight sits on my chest. It's heavy enough that the only option is to give in, and I sit on the floor with my back against the wall.

Fuck.

I close my eyes. Lift my knees up and rest my elbows on them, and drop my head to my hands. Rustling fills the silence, ending when Mariana sits by my side in the dark.

I fear replying to Mariana's question, but my thoughts slip out of me before I can inspect them.

"I don't know why we keep doing this," I say.

"Is that your secret?"

"It must be nostalgia. The memories keep tricking us."

And because we keep thinking about it, talking about it, acting on it, we're keeping it alive in our minds. It's the big irony of life. You can fight something all you want, but fighting something means holding on to it with both hands.

If I can let go of this feud I have with our past, with having her around again, I can finally open my hands and let go. If I don't, I don't know how I'll endure the rest of the season.