Page 89 of The Score

"I'm Leon Karlsen, center." I shake her hand as well. "And this is Penélope. My wife."

There it goes. Another detonating cord in my veins, sparkling as it goes for the gunpowder in my heart. Just because I used the title outloud.

"Gael Santiago, wide receiver. This is my girlfriend, Amelia."

Cora smiles at the pair of them. "I remember the kiss at the championship game."

Saint chuckles. "Yes. Historical moment."

Ames laughs.

Dom stares at Cora, unwavering. This is all very interesting. It opens the door to a hundred questions about Dom and his past. About this Mariana he may have dated in the past, and who's coming to work for the Strike.

Eager to check if Pen is thinking along the same lines, I gaze at her.

She smiles, and I forget all about it. The whole room turns bright. Everyone else disappears. She squeezes my hand twice and, in morse code, that's an I.

I…

I…

I… feel too much. My breathing quickens. Something in my chest turns tender. My heart stutters. Such a common gesture, creating a commotion inside of me.

The need for more. So much wanting. And a tug-of-war I may lose.

All I do is gulp, squeeze her hand just once, and pretend I'm listening to the ongoing conversation around us.

God, I was never meant to be looking for signs between us, dreaming that she may feel something new for me, too. She's told me over and over again she's done with romance. Who cares if she touched me in a different way before the party, or if her eyes had a new glint to them. Arousal isn't love.

I held her as she made the decision to give up on what I want most. I told her I'd support her. To change my heart now after all these years and ask something else of her makes me another guy she can't trust. I can't do that to her. If she walked away from me after that, after all that I know, all that I've seen— I'd deserve it. To seek something different with Pen would push me into the category where the worst kind of men live.

I can't lose her. She means too much. That leaves only one option— to hide these feelings in the shadows of my conscience. I'll live it in silence until I conquer it. The glow of my friendship with Pen will keep it away. At the end of the day, that's the one thing I'm not willing to risk.