Page 10 of The Score

"Don't get me wrong," she says. "It was nice, but I'd give it a three out of ten."

I purse my lips and nod.

She frowns. "Maybe it's just something people do to get to the good stuff. Sex has to feel good, right?"

I rub my lips this time. It would be easier if they stopped tingling. "Kisses will feel good too. Sex— sex is—"

Not something we talk about much. Any time we talk about love and romance and sex, we talk in hypotheticals. It's never about what we want, what we may like, or what we're hoping to try.

"Leon! You've had sex?!"

Somehow that makes her cry again.

"That's not— What I mean— I've only—"

Panic makes my confusion worse. I can't find a way to explain so I don't.

I dry her tears again. "Pen, what's going on?"

"I don't want to end up alone."

"You won't be. I promise."

"How do you know?"

"If you want to be with someone, you'll find someone that makes you feel right. You're amazing."

"What if I don't?!"

"You will. And if you don't, you will always have me."

"Come on. I know about the fanfic. I know you're obsessed with that TV show about the scientist and the detective who have not kissed in like five seasons. I know you're a romantic at heart. You will marry one day."

"So? Besides, I also have to findher, right? You and I have plenty of time. If we don't, we still get to be friends and keep each other company. Neither of us has to end up alone."

The wrinkled gesture on her face softens. Her tears dry up. She gazes at me for a couple of seconds, until it looks like a lightbulb went on in her head.

"What?" I ask.

"If you want to marry and I don't want to be alone… and if you kissed me now as a friend…"

I squint.

"If we're both single when we're thirty, we should get married. For companionship. We clearly are not meant forromance, after that kiss."

I ignore the pit that opens in my stomach. She wants friendship from me, not romance. I will not fail her by breaking my promise so fucking soon.

I frown. "We don't need to be married to be friends forever."

"Leon, you won't be single by the time we're thirty," she whispers. "It will make me feel better to think I have that promise, yeah? That you won't look at me with disgust for proposing it."

"I couldn't," I whisper back. "I'm going to punch Evan."

"Don't. But if you had it in you to marry me if you're single…"

Hope shines in her eyes, nevermind the darkness around us. This really means something to her, and I don't have it in me to deny her anything.

"Yes," I say. "Yes. If we're single when we're thirty, I'll marry you."

She lets out a big sigh. "That helps. You're the best, Leon. It won't happen, since you will find someone in college and marry them before graduation… but having this pact makes me feel better."

"I will still punch Evan. How dare he do that to you—"

She chuckles. "No need."

"He hurt you." I clench my teeth.

"A lot of people will hurt me in my life. You can't go around punching them all."

"Want to test that?"