Page 80 of The Score

His high standards to the rescue again… or playing him. One of the two.

He lifts a shoulder. "Marrying Tamara would have made sense, and it would have been romantic, and it would have kept her in the country."

"I remember something about her visa."

"Yeah, but she wanted to go back home. She said she'd stay for the right reasons, and I knew exactly what that meant." He smirks. "Couldn't do it."

"Do you think it would have felt right at some point?" I ask. "Maybe given enough time… isn't that how people used to do it a long time ago? Get married and hope for the best…"

Meanwhile we're the ones married, and I'm crossing my fingers I don't go all the way around and end up on the wrong side of things. The side where the feelings that appeared on our wedding day stay, and they get stronger somehow, and breathing can't keep up with any of it.

"Maybe, but… you know how I am." A corner of his lips curls as he looks at me.

I sigh. "You're dead romantic, Leon."

"I always waited for the day when kissing someone shattered everything I knew about reality. Tamara was amazing and we had something really good together, but… well…"

I frown. "I find it hard to believe you would have stayed if you didn't like kissing her."

I never saw them kiss beyond a quick peck, but didn't think much of it. In fact, I was grateful they kept it mild. Who wants to look at their best friend making out? It's not like a movie where they make it artistic at least.

"I didn't say I didn't like kissing her." His voice, until then assertive, softens like he can't find the right words. "It just never felt…"

He frowns, and I let him think. I focus on my lungs, relaxing my belly, and getting air deep into my chest.

He sighs. "You know how in the shows I love so much, there's this tension that builds and builds with every episode, until you feel like you need to stop watching to free yourself from the torment, but you can't? That desperation makes the moment they finally get together sweeter. It makes it hard-earned. It feels like… success. Those kisses— they literally change the script."

I smirk. He knows I watch the shows when he wants us to, but I don't feel the same desperation he's talking about.

He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. "Show runners rarely know what to do after their characters get together, but I know what I want them to do. I want them to never let go of what they found, and walk away into the sunset, hand-in-hand tackling whatever comes their way."

I nod. He watches me like he sees an irony to all of this he can't quite explain.

"With Tamara, I was never desperate." He sighs. "So now I read fanfic, and I wait."

Air thins out around me. If I'm not careful, I could get dizzy.

"I see." I press my lips together. "So you're still waiting for that kind of kiss."

Leon doesn't respond. He takes the last swig of his glass.

By instinct, I reach out and put my hand on his. "Do you really believe kisses like that can set the tone for everything else?"

Because kissing him did something to the way my body works, and it's rearranging connections deep in my brain, and I'm still trying to figure out how it's going to change my script.

At that, he leaves his glass on the table and licks his lips.

"Yeah," he says. "They can. That's why they matter so much."

"Maybe that's why it never worked back when I was dating. I never felt anything remotely like that."

I take a deep breath. This big man sitting in front of me, so handsome, so loyal, will kiss someone else one day, and feel that way. I'll go back to my role as a third wheel. I'll think back to the time we were married, and remember when kissing him gave me palpitations. I'll miss him again.

But I'll be happy when it happens for him, because I will know his soul is full of fireworks.

He smirks. "I'm glad to hear that it never happened for you."

"You are?"