Page 8 of The Score

"There's nothing wrong, except Iwantexperience. Everyone's obsessed with sex and dating and here I am, not even having kissed a guy!"

"Is that why you're sad? You didn't get to kiss Evan, I take it?"

Relief trickles down my chest. Somehow, it feels good that she doesn't—

Wow. I was going to say I'm glad she doesn't have experience, but even I know that's shitty. It's a lot of hypocrisy to prefer my best friend to not go around kissing guys, when I've gone around kissing a few girls. All I can say in my defense is that I have never let it interfere with our friendship. I've never even been tempted to let it get in the way. None of them were too serious to start with. I never felt the things I wanted to feel. It was easy to end all of it as soon as they got suspicious of my friendship with Pen.

Regardless, I shouldn't be focusing on that. She's sad, and if I feel any relief, it should be because she won't have to deal with that shithead, Evan.

"I didn't get to kiss him." She wrinkles her nose. "He's nice and I thought I could just try. I wanted to get it over with and see if I could make it happen. But he…"

I caress her face again, silently asking her to tell me more.

"He called me delusional," she whispers.

All the relief, all the sympathy, even the patience I feel evaporate at once. Anger takes its place, so swift I barely notice I'm up again.

I start pacing, clenching and unclenching my jaw.

"More than his words," she continues, "it's the way he looked, Leon. He looked… he looked…"

Her voice breaks and I'm on my knees in front of her in an instant.

She looks at me with fresh tears in her eyes. "He looked disgusted."

"Fuck," I whisper. "Fuck him."

I hug her. It's as tender as I can manage, like she needs to be handled with care.

Pen has a wonderful, generous spirit. The kind that feels warm and giving. Some people may see that and be tempted to test if she lacks a backbone, assuming her empathy means she has no boundaries. They don't know her like I do. She's soft but not fragile. She's like water. Vital and powerful.

I tighten my arms around her. "Forget him, Pen. He's a tool. Don't believe him for a second. Please. You're wonderful. He's an asshole. I didn't know you liked him or I would have told you. He's horrid when he's just with his friends."

"But what if he's not the only one who thinks I'm delusional? I'm not popular and I have no idea what I'm doing—"

"I'm not popular and I have dated a bit—"

"Yeah but you're… you're magnetic. Meanwhile, I can't flirt for the life of me. At this rate I'm never going to know what kissing is like. I'm going to graduate high school only knowing rejection."

Shit. That's the worst feeling in the world. It stabs you and only doubt creeps in through the opening. I don't want it for her.

"I just… want to know." Her voice comes out a little garbled against my shoulder. "Get it out of the way."

"I'll kiss you," I say before I know it.

The words ripple in my throat like the echoes have changed the physics of my vocal cords. Something akin to nerves takes hold of my stomach, because whatever brought me to say that out loud knows it's a big risk… but I'll do anything for Pen.

She pushes away. I give her room, but keep my hands on her shoulders.

Her wide open eyes hold blown, dark pools. "What? When?"

"Now."

It's easy to find conviction inside of me. I will not let her feel rejection, when I can easily distract her and give her something she wants.

"Leon— I've been crying. I'm snotty. I'm a mess. You're— my friend!"

"I am your friend. That's why I'm going to kiss you. So you know."