Page 59 of The Score

"Remember our conversation by the swing last time? When we told my parents we're getting married. You told me to imagine what it would be like to marryyou."

I nod. It's strange, this feeling that shows up in my belly, to hear her repeat my own words back at me. At the time, I felt conviction. Hope. The need to get her on board with the plan. Now, they feel more possessive than I ever consciously meant them. Yet they still ring true.

"We are getting married, Penélope." I smirk and point at the diamond and blue stones on her left hand. "You are wearing my grandmother's ring. This is happening."

"I know. Isn't it the darnedest thing? We're saying yes to this, but it's the first time you've seen me in lingerie, and I've never seen you in your boxers."

"I'll undress right now," I offer again.

Mostly because my boner is finally gone, and I know she will laugh it off. She does.

"Oh, Bear. Just— let's focus on the wedding. It's happening so soon. I'll be wearing a cute dress and you'll look incredibly handsome, I'm sure. We'll make it a special evening. For you, for me, my parents, our friends…"

She's asking me to keep to our plan, and forget what just happened.

It'll be difficult, but I'll try my best. I'll compartmentalize it as hard as I can, if it means Pen will feel better about the whole thing, and we can keep being best friends.

"Of course, Pen." I take her hand and kiss the back of it. "I'll do anything to make it a special day for both of us. Even if it's not the wedding I thought I'd have, it's you and me. There's nothing more important than that."

It's what I tell myself as we walk away from the store. I repeat it in my head when I'm having a hard time falling asleep, and avoiding the memories of Pen in blue lingerie. And I make it into a prayer every day until the day of our wedding.