Page 58 of The Score

"Then I'll undress to my boxers and make it even."

"I don't think this is going to be fixed with both of us in our underwear at the same time, to be honest."

Thank God. I was counting on this being her response. Just something else to carry in my conscience.

I need to change the topic, stat.

"I'm sorry, Pen. Evie said you were having trouble finding your dress, and that they couldn't come keep you company, so I should. That's all I had in mind, I promise."

Pen and I have always managed to keep certain things private. Hard to believe that, in twenty years, we intuitively knew how to never cross the line in the sand. The one where platonic feelings might get harpooned and dragged into dangerous, unchartered oceans.

Pen sighs. "I guess that's what Evie said when she told me she was about to meddle."

"To be fair, she didn't tell me to get a peek. Or to cop a feel."

"That was all your idea?" she laughs.

"That was anaccident. I just heard you needed company and that's all I had in mind."

The sound of a zipper reaches me. It helps to focus on the little noises around me— the soft whispers of fabric moving against fabric, the way her breathing changes as she moves and works on getting dressed, the burr of the fan I didn't realize ran in a corner.

"I was just trying to get to you," I say. "I thought you were not doing well."

She sighs. "That's actually sweet, I'll give you that. You can turn around now."

I do, only to drop into one of the armchairs next to me. Pen hangs her robe from one of the hooks, right next to where the blue lingerie set waits.

I drag my eyes to Pen. "Why didn't you call me?"

She's fully clothed now, wearing a familiar outfit. Jeans and a green crop top. Just Pen, my buddy, once again. Almost. Enough, until further notice.

She purses her lips and sits on the round pedestal in the middle of the small room. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise for you."

Both my eyebrows shoot up. "Was I… going to be seeing you in lingerie for some reason?"

The thought burns through my brain. If we've been careful for so long, it's for a good reason. We can't be doing things like this, if we're meant to keep it platonic.

That's why the new memories in the back of my head are so dangerous.

"Of course not," she replies. "The lingerie was something the girls said I should do for myself. Just for fun. But I didn't want you to see me in my dress before the wedding."

I frown. She understands the question without me having to say it.

She gives me a self-deprecating smile. "I thought that even though this isn't your dream wedding, and you're not marrying the love of your life, you're romantic enough that you would want to keep this tradition. You know, not to tempt fate or something like that."

My chest softens, because this is how Pen is. She doesn't care for romance, but she cares that I care.

I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. It brings us closer, until we're gazing into each other's eyes.

"I didn't think of that, to be honest." I give her a smile. "But thank you. You were right. Now I'd rather be surprised."

"My dress is very pretty, Bear." She mirrors my grin. "It's gorgeous, even. And Jack and Maeve promised they'll dye it whatever color I want after, so I can wear it again."

"That's amazing."

"Because we're getting married, and I'm wearing a beautiful dress that's five times more expensive than I budgeted for, and I can't imagine not wearing it again."

"I'm sure the dress is worth every cent, especially if it's making you feel happy to wear it for our wedding."