Page 43 of The Score

Chapter 15

Pen - 25 years old

Four years ago

The lights are off in my bedroom. I'm in my bed. A hole threatens to crack my chest in two. Tears fall onto my pillow.

For a few short months, I thought I had found someone I could fall for. All I had to do was give it time, show him I cared, and trust.

Well, I did all of those things and for what? For this? To end in the same place I always do?

I hate it here.

My phone lies near me in my bed. I check it casually, but I have no reply from Leon yet. I sent him a few texts a while ago, but I'm not surprised he hasn't said anything back. He's busy at a fancy alumni party for his alma mater. I shouldn't have texted him at all, except he's the only one I can share my heart with socompletely.

Pen: I'm done. Looking for a decent man is the worst. -1000/10, do not recommend. I'm never doing this again. Dating is off the table. Sean is the last man I ever try with. Never again!!!

Pen: PS— I'm okay, just heartbroken. Do you think I can send the pesky organ back to the factory? I don't think it's working right. Otherwise, I'll research if I can have it surgically removed. That should work, right?

Pen: Brunch here tomorrow?

I tried to keep it upbeat in my messages to not worry him, but I'm crossing my fingers he comes tomorrow morning. Only one of my best friend's hugs can make things better.

If there's such a thing as moving past this debacle. To think I thought Sean could be the one…

A new stream of tears falls down my face. That first date three months ago— we talked for hours. Had a lovely walk among the trees. Kissed as the sun set. We stayed in touch after, until that second date when he made me a delicious dinner. How could I have suspected it would end like this?

It always ends like this.

I'm exhausted and so, so over it.

My phone rings. Bear and my parents are the only calls that can get through. I check the screen, and answer upon seeing Leon's name.

"Hey," I say.

"Come to your balcony."

I sit up and dry my tears. "What?"

"I'm spying on your window. Come to the balcony."

Surprise replaces the hole in my chest. A simple, temporary bandage, but it hides the pain.

I check the clock on my screen. "Shouldn't you be finishing dinner right now?"

"Penélope."

His voice, assertive as always, soothes the pain further. Wonder takes over. As I roll out of my bed and reach for the glass door, it warms up what was cold two minutes ago. That's the kind of power my best friend has.

I live on the fifth floor of a building ten minutes away from work. It's small but comfortable, and a modest balcony takes up all of the side and overlooks the street. I step out onto it. A cold breeze makes itself known and my body tightens in response, but I don't go back in. I search for Bear five stories below.

He stands across the street. The light out here is soft and diffuse, but enough of it shines on him that I can admire the view. His dark suit, dark shirt, and dark hair. With the tattoos he's been collecting over the years, creeping out of his collar, and the new beard he's been keeping for a few months, one might think he's a man on a mission. Maybe a bit dangerous. Sharp. Ruthless, even. Anyone who knows him is aware that's not the case, and I know him better than everyone else.

One of his hands holds the phone while the other is in his pocket.

"Hey there, Pen."

If it weren't for the phone, I couldn't hear him, he says my name so gently.