Page 166 of The Score

Chapter 54

Pen

"Dad. Are you okay?" I press my lips together. "Should we check your blood pressure?"

We're at the table. I had them sit down with a cup of tea. The hope was it would make the news easier to swallow.

He stares at me with wide eyes. Mom glances at me, then puts a hand on his face.

"Sergio? It's just a video," she says. "You remember how young people are."

"I remember, but—"

I look up at the ceiling and pretend my brain is not jumping to conclusions, about how the two of them may have been decades ago.

"Dad. I found the video. It's not that bad."

Not that I liked watching it, or that it exists, but it's not as bad as my anxious brain was making it.

"If someone comes to bug you about it," Mom says, "tú los mandas a la mierda y ya."

She scowls like it would be their fault.

I'm crossing my fingers we can get rid of the video, of course. At the end of the day, what I need to do is talk to Bear, not deal with this situation.

I laugh. "Let's hope no one has the gall to bug Dad about it, so he doesn't have to send anyone to hell."

"No, no, I'll send them to hell." Dad frowns. "Que coman mierda. I wish you hadn't— you know. But sharing the video is not on your guys' heads. That was someone else's choice."

I put a hand on his arm. "That's true, but it will still get us in trouble, and I don't want it stressing you out."

He gazes at me and his face changes. It softens. His eyes gain warmth, until a watery line appears on his bottom eyelid.

"Oh, hija. I know you'll be okay. You're not alone. Your husband's got you now."

As patriarchal as that sounds, I take it the same way I always do. He wants to see me happy, no matter what happens to him. It's what my dad has always wanted. To know I have a partner who will support me and stand by me during challenging situations.

I shake my head, but the gesture comes with full affection. "Bear has always gotten me. Even before we got married."

"I know, but it helps to know you love each other like this too. So let me think about it that way for a little longer, okay?"

I take in a shaky breath. That's a lovely wish I share, but I may not have a long time with it. The moment Leon makes it home and we talk, this will go one of two ways.

He will tell me he can see himself being happy with me as I am, with what we have, regardless of what he's wanted for himself from the start.

He will tell me he can't see himself being fully happy with me as I am, with what we have, so we'll choose friendship instead, because I was right.

Or that's what I keep telling myself because, this way, he'll stay with me somehow.

"Okay," I say in a thin voice.

That's all I manage, when a series of loud, unexpected noises reach us.

Bangs and outdoorsy sounds come from the yard. The three of us get up and dart to the kitchen window.

It's a sunny day. A breeze moves through the trees and greenery— or the plants are frightened and shake in the soil, because Bear has taken a shovel to them.

The little garden shed at the back is wide open, having been invaded by my husband. He does good work of digging the red buds out intact, and puts them on a bucket to the side. Two seconds later, he's back at shoveling dirt into a small hill on the flower bed.