Page 144 of The Score

I take a deep breath and wave her concern away with a hand gesture. "Yeah. I'm okay."

At the end of the day, I can explain all of this too. It's simply that special brain cocktail that nature uses to make people bond and support each other, in case they end up making babies. Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and more, all balanced in specific ways to make us give someone else a fucking chance. Without them, who in their right mind would hazard a heartbreak? No one, and I'm a pretty level-headed individual.

Or I used to be, because I haven't been as good of late, when it's about my husband. Recently, I've been forgetting he's the kind of heartbreak I wouldn't survive.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" Nat asks with wide eyes.

"What?!" I let out a big laugh. Too big, maybe. It's the nerves. "You, too? What is with people thinking Leon and I will start building a football team of our own?"

"Ha! So you are having sex!" Ames exclaims.

"What?!" I exclaim. "Was this a trap? Unbelievable, you guys."

"Not a trap, but a friendly test." Evie smiles. "Did you know our other halves have been complaining non-stop about not knowing much? But we all assume plenty, Pen. That moment at the club pointed us in the right direction."

I frown. "I won't confirm or deny anything about the things Bear and I are doing or not these days, but I will complain about you all making theassumptionthat it would result in me being pregnant!"

"You're still not denying a pregnancy which, fair." Nat raises an eyebrow, humor glimmering in her eyes. "You get to keep things private. But if you need to know, I'm asking because you got really pale there for a second."

"Yeah, you looked queasy," Ames agrees. "I have to admit that's where my mind went as well."

Funnily enough, that's not even the bigger issue. Putting both babies and butterflies in the balance, I know which one worries me the most at the moment. Pregnancy isn't going to happen, but falling for my husband…

I wish I could say the last fifteen minutes changed things. The truth is, what brought me here started many weeks ago with our wedding kiss. Now I have to admit that being able to explain things doesn't make it feel any less real. What these fluttering wings are doing to me is proof enough.

But falling for my husband means falling for my best friend, and that's the one thing I can't jeopardize. If every failed relationship of old led me to give it all up, this path is paved with danger signs. In case that's not enough, yellow plastic ribbons criss-cross the start of the road, with CAUTION: DO NOT CROSS printed in bold black ink.

I shake my head. "Why? You all know Bear and I don't mean to stay together forever. I could have just— I don't know. Eaten something bad."

"Maybe," Evie says with a smile. "But the whole group is waiting for a chance to ask what happened after the club last time. We have your romantic status on our minds, you know? You're lucky we've been so respectful that we have not asked about this in our group chat."

I purse my lips. Of course the four of us have a group chat as well but, despite my SOS call when I had issues with my dress, our conversation hasn't strayed much from our usual topics. The past couple of weeks, we've had the same pictures of Barkley that make me want my own dog, or questions from them about my parents and the surgery. We've talked about Ames' TV show adventures, Evie's initial wedding plans, and my plan to apply for a job with the Strike. None of it has had to do with Bear.

If they had asked, I don't know that I could have confessed the sincere fun and joy I'm experiencing with my best friend. It would have felt risky to admit that… to name that… shit. That this is all I ever wanted.

I'm feeling queasy again. I stop breathing for a second, two, waiting for my system to regulate again.

Evie cocks her head. "I guess we'll have to keep being respectful, then. Have some tea. Breathe. You're pale again, my friend."

"Right." The word comes out tight.

I unscrew the bottle and take a few gulps. Ames rubs my shoulder. Nat smirks. Ha, she must have gone through similar revelations, when she had an epiphany and learned she didn't only want friendship with Damián. Now they're married, too.

Wait. Does that mean… that I'm having a romantic epiphany… but we're already married… and I…

Damn.

I drink more tea.

"All right, then." Evie presses her lips together not to smile. "The team is coming in, but you have to know I would have pushed for the exclusive reveal otherwise. We were so close. Saved by the bell, I guess."

"Exclusive reveal?" I laugh. It's still a nervous sound. "I thought you're in PR, not investigative journalism."

A throng of big athletes make their way through the large double doors at the other side of the hall. None of our favorite players are here yet.

Evie grins. "I dabble. I would love to show up at home tonight and tell Logan I know things he doesn't know."

"Saint would hang from every word, too." Ames smirks. "He's been complaining that they haven't had a chance to stage an intervention for Bear."