Page 136 of The Score

"Please. I know we kept it simple, but the pipe organ got more than that."

"Aww. Did you wantyourorgan to get a million out of ten?"

"I wouldn't say no to a million out of ten score for my dick." He keeps caressing my face, making long trails over my cheek, my temple, my hair, my nape. Over and over again. His eyes keep on watching me, adoringly, patiently. Full of humor, too.

I grin. "You do have a very pretty, very impressive dick. You use it very well."

"Do we have the green light for the next bucket list items, then?"

"Which ones are we talking about, and do they all include your dick?"

"Only if you really want to." He grins impishly. "We can get creative. I'll surprise you."

"What if I need to prepare mentally for these plans of yours?"

"Too bad. For now, see what kind of bucket list items you can come up with here, in the privacy of this campground."

"I know one thing I want to add to it."

I run wet fingers through his hair. He smirks. That's all I need. I know it's his way of asking for an explanation.

He holds me closer. I surround his hips with my legs. His wide, muscled shoulders stay over the line of the water.

"Tell me if I'm right." I ran a finger over the visible ink. "You've been holding back."

He freezes. The water is icy, but it's not what makes him immobile. It's the reason I shiver, though, I'm pretty sure.

"I think I saw some of it," I say. "In the shower that first day. After the club. When you told me to kiss you… then you stopped me and told me to try harder."

His eyes search mine. Movement returns to him, but he hesitates.

I dip my chin. I bite my lip.

"I'd like to see you wild, Bear. Losing control. What would you do to me, if this weren't only about my bucket list?"

He licks his bottom lip. "If it isn't about your bucket list, then this would be aboutus, Pen. It would be you and me, married to our best friend, having sexfor fun. Because it feels good. But we said we'd do it this way, to protect our friendship."

"Yes. We said that." I sigh.

At the end of the day, it's good we have these rules. Even so, I may be interested in learning just how much fits within those lines.

He frowns. "I'm not sure when we'll be done with your list, and I'm in no hurry. All I know is I'll want you by my side by the end of it, no matter what."

I start shivering. My heart skips a beat. When he says it like that, it sounds like he could see me like his wif— like his friend forever, and that would be enough. Like he'd give up on roses and love letters, and the love of someone who wants dogs and a big yard and a house big enough for their ten kids.

I made it my mission to protect his dream. He is so loyal that he'd sacrifice what he wants to make me happy. I won't let him give that up, and I won't let myself forget.

Despite the kisses, despite the sex, despite the fantasies we're indulging in. Nevermind the fact we're holding on to each other, naked under the moonlight.

"You're right," I say, "We'll keep it to the lists. What you're forgetting is that I said I wanted to feel thoroughly wanted, too. Enjoyed. Taken. I think… if you let go, I'd feel like that."

"You're offering me a lot, Pen."

"I think it's fair."

"Don't do it for me."

"Why not? I want you to love what we're doing, too."