Page 110 of The Score

Chapter 36

Pen

The car is in total silence, but the tension between Bear and me crackles. Except for the brief minutes when he texted with the guys to get them off our backs, all he does is hold my hand, caress my rings, and look out the window.

He's deep in thought, while I burn in place. How he can seem so calm when I'm overcome with sensations escapes me. Maybe it’s because everything my body is going through is due to him.

The way he looked at me. The way he touched me. His offer. A shiver runs down my spine, just thinking about it.

I barely make it home. Bear opens the car door for me, tips the driver, and leads me inside with a hand behind my back. All lights are off, assuring us we'll have all the privacy we need. Our bedroom is at the end of a long hallway and we make our way there without flicking any switches. We don't need to see things clearly to find it.

We go in. He takes off his overshirt and throws it onto one of the armchairs by the corner. The gesture leaves him in his distressed gray jeans and white shirt. The look is a classic for a reason. It highlights his wide shoulders, thickeverything, and sprawling tattoos. Even his black hair seems to contrast with the look. His dark blue eyes do too, when he stares at me.

I lean against our door, utterly breathless. My blood's oxygen levels must be struggling, because the space I share with Bear has lost all familiarity. Like looking at my best friend in a new way has the power to change the very lens through which I take in the world.

Bear's eyes lock on me. He tracks me, waiting.

I bite my lip. "Do you think these feelings will go away if we ignore them long enough?"

He doesn't move. He stands a few steps from me. The bedroom is large, with enough room for the king-size bed, side tables, plants, and a small sitting area tucked on the side. A large window overlooks the backyard, but thick curtains block the night view. With everything in shades of cream and greyish blues, it seems designed to fade into the background. What matters is what happens in the room, not the decor, after all.

"You tell me." His voice comes out deeper than usual. "If you don't want this, I'll find a way to keep you from it."

"Keep me from what?"

"All the things I want to do to you." The step he takes closer to me has a predatory air to it, but he handles it. He stops. "As long as they're part of your bucket list."

"And our bodies will calm down afterwards?"

"Maybe. But even if they don't, it doesn't matter. There are three options here, Pen."

He takes another step toward me. My heart skips a beat. He lowers his chin and studies me, paying attention to my response.

"One," he says. "We do nothing, and find a way to put these feelings away now. Two— we do everything on your list and it calms us down, allowing us to be free of this need."

He takes another step and brings his hands to his hips. His knuckles whiten, his fingers are so tense. He's still a few steps away… while I'm a few seconds away from losing it and jumping him, never mind the conversation we're trying to have.

"And three?" I breathe.

"Three— we do everything our bodies desire and the feelings don't go away. We'll have to bargain with evolution and biology another time. But at least— at least your list would be complete. You'd have everything you ever dreamed of."

I'm so full of want, it nearly overflows. My throat tightens. That's why my breathing comes out high pitched. Or maybe that's a muffled moan. I'm that ready.

God, my body is in need.

I lick my lip. "So we fight these feelings now, or we fight them after we deal with a few of my fantasies."

He nods. Frowns. Stares me down.

I'm about to turn into a puddle.

"We'll be careful." He presses his lips together and stares at my mouth. "We'll take our time. Go slow. My offer remains on the table."

I know him so well, I don't need him right next to me to know what he's thinking. Slow isn't what my hormones beg for, but it's wise, and I want this in any way I can get it.

"You should kiss me again," I say.

He squints. "I just said we'll take our time."