Page 103 of The Score

In fact, I hadn't realized that had happened. As much as I want to watch Leon's workout video again at another time, I haven't looked up the photobooth picture. Perhaps because I am in it too, and I'm afraid of how much exactly my face gives me away.

"Makes sense." Evie nods. "It didn't seem very… err…staged."

"Nope." I rescue my drink and take a sip. "We just… we were hoping to, you know. Send a message."

Evie purses her lips to hide a smile. I pretend I don't notice and finish my meal.

"Mission accomplished," she says. "It got the most engagement of all of the photos that night. Lots of fans sent their most heartfelt congratulations on their favorite center's wedding. A bunch of them said you're very lucky. Many said the way you look at each other is the stuff of fairy tales."

"I am very lucky." That's all I can say.

I am the luckiest, in fact. To have a friend like Bear, determined to be someone I can rely on, and who makes me feel truly safe. So thoroughly secure, my body is entangled in a net of longing and arousal for the things it never got. Like it looks at him and says, you. You can help me do things I've never done before.

But none of it is meant to last. It's only a chain reaction, ignited by a kiss and a series of small moments I shared with a man I trust. As much as my body fills with reawakened sensations, and even when it led us to this morning, that's not romance. That's not the stuff they write about in epic love stories. It's not what Bear reads about in his favorite fanfiction. It's just the smut. Which, granted, can be a lot of fun. No shame at all. Except, between Leon and I? The risk istoo high. Because one day he will realize what he's missing, and he'll have every right to move on.

All in all, Leon and I must have been faking too hard and it got us confused, but I promised I'd let him go.

"I don't know that I would call it a fairy tale." I sigh. "All that's happening is that, these days, I'm a little more aware of how attractive my best friend is. That's all."

"A little more aware?"

"That's why I'm looking at him differently."

"You think you didn't look at him like this before?"

I glance at her. Some humor remains in her eyes but, at this, she studies me with curiosity, too.

"I didn't look at him like this before," I insist.

"I guess I can't know what you werefeelingbefore, but I can tell you… this face you made? Just now watching the video? Or in the photobooth picture? Not new."

I gaze away.

"In fact," she adds. "I'm suddenly envious of the guys' bets and their beloved Hypersquare. Do you think we should have our own friendly betting board?"

"Why?" I drown the last of my drink. "Do you have a bet you'd like to make?"

"I could come up with something."

"Please don't." I manage a small smile, but I cast my eyes to the grass at our feet. I go for a strand of hair to play with. "I'm not ready to talk about any of it."

Evie watches me for a few seconds, before she sighs. "Okay. I won't push more today. I didn't reveal everything about Logan and I until I was well and truly certain. So did Ames. You deserve the same kind of patience."

"Thank you." I lift my eyes again, but I can't find Bear among the players. "I know my grace period won't last long with you all, but I'll take any time I can get."

"It's okay." Evie rubs my shoulder. "You'll figure it out and, if not… we're here to help."

I purse my lips. Romantic love has always been a mystery to me. Seduction and intimacy have never treated me well. Maybe that's why I'm not the kind of person who can just open up about it to friends. It's somewhat embarrassing to struggle with it.

After all, I gave it a good effort, and it only caused me pain. I wouldn't know where to begin, if I tried to look for it somewhere deep inside. I'm too jaded to search for romance in my future, or to think of it with anything but cynicism.

If there's something I've known for a long time, it is that Leon deserves better than that. He craves the sweeping love story. I want that for him. My uncertain heart will not get in the way of that. And like he said once, our friendship is perfect. I don't need more than that.

"Thank you," I say. "Just give me some time. For now, I have a question for you. Do you think Mariana Sinclair will want to hire people for the Strike's foundation expansion?"