Page 76 of The Catch

"What a piece of shit. He wasn't letting you go."

"You were watching?"

"I saw you when I arrived. Stayed. Paid attention to what was going on."

He looks like something sour landed on his tongue.

Beats and music surround us, but we don't follow their instructions. While everyone around us moves at a fast pace, Saint and I slow dance.

"I wanted to make sure they were treating you right," he adds. "Looking for a sign that you wanted what you were getting."

"It didn't go as planned."

"What did you plan?"

I hesitate.

The satin of his shirt is soft under my fingers, and I trace patterns on it with a nail. My eyes land on his chain.

I study each link as I speak. "You date a lot. You make sleeping with people look easy. Do you think I need a rebound?"

He slows down further. We're mostly immobile on the dance floor as he inspects me. The way he licks his lips, his dimples come out to play.

I lose track of them when he speaks to my ear.

"Do you want a rebound?" he asks.

I take a deep breath to soothe my haywire pulse. It's a mistake. Now my nose, my lungs, my brain is full of his cologne.

"What do you want?" His breath plays with my tender skin. "That's all that matters."

I close my eyes and breathe in his scent again. "I don't know what I want, but I'm trying to figure out what I need. I spent years investing in a relationship that fell apart for reasons I may never understand. Every relationship I've had, I've gone all in. They have all failed."

"So you're thinking you might want to try something different."

It's not a question.

"Before you ask," I say, "I have not had a single drop of alcohol since last night."

He doesn't say anything.

"You're an expert at this," I try again. "It's all you do, right? Casual relationships only. Bake and Bye, three dates in. Teach me."

"Ames…"

I pull away, only enough to see his eyes. Intensity fills his dark irises, punctuated by a rare frown.

"Teach me to seduce someone," I say. "How to have mind-blowing sex with them for a short while just for the fun of it. I want to learn how to end it when things are not meant to last forever. Because I was settling with Aidan and fuck me if I will ever settle again. One day I'll go for forever again, with someone who wants it with me too. Until then, I want to be myself and have easy, casual fun, then walk away. Like you do."

We're not dancing at all anymore. I'm in his arms, he scrutinizes me, and determination beats in my chest.

"You have no idea what you're asking me," he says.

I lift my hands up his chest, channeling the soft fabric at his neck between index and middle finger. It lets me touch his skin, just a bit, just one pad on the warmth of him. A nail grazes against his chain, and I repeat the motion a couple of times.

His fingers clench on their spot on my body.

"There's no one I trust more to show me how to do this." I lick my lips. "You won't lead me astray. You're so… warm, and incredible, and last night— you were so good to me last night, rejecting me softly for the right reasons—"