Page 5 of The Catch

Ames

I wake up confused. I'm sprawled on a bed, but the scent on the comforter is different from what I'm used to.

It smells like Saint's clothes. We don't hug often, but somehow my brain has made sure I remember. It hits me hard how badly I need a hug— or for Saint to hug me? Still confused. I need to be held, regardless, because…

Two blinks later, it all comes back to me at once.

How Aidan got a promo segment on the most watched morning show to talk about his new album. As the singer for the late night show on the same network, it only made sense for him to spend the night in the office. The couch in the green room was a perfectly good place to catch a few hours of sleep, he said, since he would have to be back so early.

Like a good girlfriend, I was excited for him. A true cheerleader, ready to invest in the relationship and his career in every way. Trying a hundred ideas to show him my support. Getting up at the crack of dawn to show up at the TV network building where we met a few years ago, when I got a catering contract for thepopular late show he sings for. Surprising him before his promo segment with his favorite sandwich and veggie-fruit juice.

How I froze in SBN's Hello Seattle's hallway, my smile disappearing as I flinched, when Aidan came out of the green room. Giggling with a beautiful blonde. Holding her hand.

Giving her a quick kiss. On the lips.

The memory is a shard of glass boring through my heart. I close my eyes again as if it will erase everything from my mind. It doesn't work— I can still remember how I followed them to the studio and everything that happened after. The spectacle I orchestrated without any plan or fear of the consequences.

Fuck, I should have spared a thought for the consequences.

I cringe and reach for my phone, abandoned on the bedside table before I hid from the world via sleep.

Jo: what the fuck happened? Ames, this is bad

Jo: AMES. Tell me you're okay.

Jo: Amelia Guerrero! Where are you? The only reason I'm not sending a search and rescue team to find you is because I know you're a badass woman who will come out of whatever this is victorious, but I'm so fucking worried that I AM STRESS EATING ALL OF OUR CLIENT'S CUPCAKES

Jo: If I don't hear from you by 4pm, I'm sending the rescue team. Don't test me

I snort. Tears threaten to come out at the multiple texts from my coworker-slash-friend, but I hold them back. I'm not sure if I'm grateful for her, or if it's because I discovered the man I thought I'd be with forever had been cheating on me. Until I know, no crying for me. I'll count the times I cry for Aidan, so I never forget what he did to me.

Because, shit, we were buying a house together. I did what I swore I would never do. I moved into my boyfriend's house without a place to come back to, or without enough money to get away if I needed to. All because I believed him when he said we would be together forever.

It made sense, he reasoned. We slept together most nights. I had things in his place. We would be living together soon enough, so why postpone the inevitable?

Then he wrote a song and called itSettled. How romantic, I thought. It was settled— we were settled. Surely it was a sign we were meant to be together forever.

Cracks rip through my heart. Sandpaper fills my throat. My eyes get blurry again, and I stop it once more. Later, I'll let myself cry. Now I need to answer Jo. She's worried and, as my right hand in my personal chef and catering business, I need her help.

Ames: I'm okay. I found a place to crash (I know you don't have the room). I'll explain everything as soon as I can but this is what we need to focus on right now: 1- don't cater to the show tonight. We were fired. 2- Can you please keep the ship afloat? There's a lot I need to figure out. 3- Aidan is an asshole and was cheating on me

I don't wait for Jo's response and get up instead. I note the private bathroom in the room, and open my suitcase on the floor for now. I only grabbed essentials before leaving what had been Aidan's bachelor pad. I take a couple of pills for the headache threatening my skull, and make it to the kitchen with downtrodden steps.

After gulping some water down, I open the fridge and peruse the food. It's the prepped meals I send for Saint and, though it feels strange somehow to eat food I made for him for work, I go ahead and take a chicken and veggie meal and pop it in the microwave.

I lean on the kitchen island, the hum of the microwave the only sound. My posture is awful, with my shoulders curved inwards and my chin down to my chest, but I don't have the energy to fix it. What a mess. The TV network was my single largest client. I can only keep the catering business afloat for a short time, unless I find another big contract.

As much as I enjoy making food and smoothies for Saint and his friends, and as much as they pay well, it's simply not enough to cover the salaries for every person I employ. The sheer size of the late show meant I doubled my team to keep up. Without that client, half of my employees will become redundant at the business level. At the ethical level? I can't imagine firing them.

I need a new big client, stat. A team of ten people depend on me. Hell,Idepend on getting a new contract. I don't know what will happen to my career if I can't salvage my business.

All because the man who promised me forever and wrote songs about it couldn't keep it in his pants.

Now I'm back at square one, wondering how something sosettledhad gone so wrong.

If only I had ever seen a long-term relationship that worked, I might have known what forever love looks like. As it was, I never learned. My parents divorced before I was ten, only to start on a journey of a hundred one-year-long relationships. All I got out of it was my mom's'be free, Amelia,'and my dad's 'relationships are a trap.'Only I decided to use my freedom to be different from them. I would find a relationship that would be good to me. I would never make the mistakes they did.

Except I did. I missed the signs with Aidan. Somewhere, somehow, I failed at making the relationship work, and I have no idea how. Now I'm in the dark again, not knowing what I did wrong or how to make it right one day with someone else.