Page 16 of The Catch

All lights remain off as I go into my office and close the door. I keep the room pitch-dark for a second longer. The moment I turn on the light, I'll have to turn on the computer. Check my emails. Do the accounting. Cross my fingers and hope a plan reveals itself to me.

No established, long-term relationship. No secure, growing business.

"Shit," I mutter into the darkness.

It's not the time for wallowing. Not at work.

I take a deep breath and turn on the light. My office is functional and undecorated. A simple white box with no windows, and a wooden desk with a computer on top. A filing cabinet hides underneath next to my leg, and a single bookshelf sits at my back. All the color comes from the corkboard on the wall next to me, where a hundred sticky notes in bright shades of pink, orange, and green wait for my attention. Recipe tweaks I'd like to try, flavor combinations to experiment with, and ingredients I want to research for my athlete clients… One day, I'll have time to be playful and discover again. To enjoy the balance of chemistry and artistry that go into creating a meal, and sharing it with the world. Creating warmth and communion through food.

Today I have to lose myself in admin work and projections.

Two hours later, Jo finds me with my hands in a praying position, my eyes locked on the screen.

"Hey." She brings two mugs of coffee with her, and she places one on my desk.

She sits in front of me.

I lift my eyes to my friend. "Hi. Thanks for the coffee."

"It's good to see you here. How long has it been? Two weeks?"

"Yeah. Thanks for keeping things going."

"The business side has never been easier with the sudden drop in deadlines. But the mood? Everyone's anxious, Ames."

Jo holds her own mug of coffee in her hand. Her long, straight black hair is always in a ponytail, and it waterfalls over one of her shoulders. Her bold eyeliner is familiar, drawing my sight to her heavy-lidded eyes.

She stares at me, unwavering.

I sigh. "I feared we only had a few months to find a new big client and after looking at the numbers today— yeah. Two months if I want to keep everyone employed. Three if we really stretch it and I'm willing to go into debt. Any longer, and I have to get loans or… well. Worse."

Jo knows it means closure.

Three months, at the end of the day. Just like Saint's timeline.

"We need to get busy, then," Jo says.

It's true. Every cell in my body recognizes it. That's why the reality of my situation comes with worry, and with small tremors everywhere.

I bite my lip. "Do you think that the smoothie video will make it harder to find clients?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I did was so immature, Jo."

My teeth go harder on the flesh of my mouth. My lack of composure that morning has kept me up at night. Aidan is known in the industry. Even if embarrassing him felt like revenge— a poor substitute to justice— it also showed my emotional side at my place of work. They could have decided I'm unprofessional, unreliable, undeserving of future contracts…

"Well, let's see." She sips from her drink. "Did you plan it?"

"What do you mean? Of course not."

"So it was a spur of the moment thing."

"It just happened. I was furious!"

And feeling absolutely embarrassed myself. Everyone at SBN knows me, and was aware I lived with Aidan. Did everyone know he'd been fooling around with someone else? When they smiled hello at me, were they secretly snickering behind my back?

My cheeks warm up. I taste my coffee, hoping Jo won't notice how flustered I am.