Page 71 of Yours, For Good

"A couple months ago, she kissed me." I swallowed a hard gulp of coffee. "For the first time in ages, I've wanted to kiss someone— I kissed her back. Until I remembered why I shouldn't. I stopped it and in the confusion of it all, I explained I was hiding something that could make her change her mind about me. I haven't heard from her since… not as Javier, at least."

"So you didn't tell her?" Violeta asked.

I shook my head. "Not all of it. She was still living in my condo and financially dependent on me."

"But it sounds like it's not the case anymore?" Jake's eyes narrowed.

I shook my head again. "Recently she wrote to me as Mr. Smith to say she was letting him— me— letting Mr. Smith go. That she was torn about me— Javier— but wanted to reach out. I'm still waiting on her final letter, but this… goodbye process… it involves her paying me back. She has investors, she's moving out. She's not dependent on me at all. After last night, I realized I have to tell her everything and give her a chance to make choices with all the information. Even if that means hating me forever. I know that if I explain and ask her why I need her to keep my double identity private, she won't tell anyone the nature of the program that put her in my path."

"You think she'll hate you?" Gabe asked. "It would make sense if she's livid and hurt, but hating is a strong word."

"She could forgive you, too, eventually." Vi glanced at Jake. "Sometimes time is all you need."

"She could learn to trust you again." Eva's eyes were serious on me. In what seemed like an automatic move, she grabbed Max's hand on the table and squeezed. "If you show up consistently, and you're willing to give her what she needs to process, she'll believe you again when you say that you care and you want to stay in her life."

Max lifted her hand and kissed the back.

Lina kept her eyes on me. "It's the commitment to it that makes a difference. Let her see you trying and maybe she will forgive you. Maybe that leads to friendship, maybe to something else, but your job is to tell her and try."

I gazed among the people I had chosen as my closest family and let their words settle into my worried heart. Eagerness and affection beamed at me from each of them. Gratitude for my friends lit up a furnace of love inside.

"What's her name?" Max's voice came out soft for once. "You haven't shared her name yet."

"I haven't?" I could hear the tightness in my throat. They would too, but that was all right. "Nora. She's… Nora."

Eleanora. Shining light.

"Are you going to try to make it better with Nora?" Max gazed at me with patience, his usual cheekiness subdued.

Making it better meant, at the very least, doing good by Nora. Giving her all the pieces of the puzzle, and letting her do what she wanted with the resulting landscape.

Maybe she'd swipe it off the table and let the wrecked image lay astray on the floor. Maybe she'd put it in a frame and take care of it. Whatever she did, I could do my part.

"I'm going to try," I said.

Max grinned. "Then all we need is a plan."

Chapter 28

Date: June 3

To: Mr. Smith

From: Eleanora

Subject: I'm… what?

Dear Mr. B.,

I'm not sure what to make of this— maybe I should wait to write to you until my heart is not beating this fast— but my thoughts are going a mile a second and I need to do something about it.

I just responded to Mr. Griggs's email. OF COURSE I'LL MEET YOU, MISTER B.!! He didn't need to say it was very important to meet to discuss critical issues or that you'd be grateful and all those things. I'm taking them into consideration but let's be honest. You could have just said, "wanna meet"? And I would have been there at the time and address you requested.

I will be there, Mr. Beanpole. You can be sure of it.

I will also keep this private and not let other people know about it, not even Mrs. Semple (I've been having a peaceful but busy time here at Lock Willow, by the way. Even if it's made me miss some people more than I already did). Mr. Griggs didn't explain much, except to say that it had to do with protecting the incubator opportunity for future students. It's all good. I can wait with my questions for now, because Mr. Griggs said you would answer any and all questions I had. Mind. Blown.

I can't believe I get to end this email this way, but…