Page 65 of Yours, For Good

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'll do better."

A line remained on my friend's brow as I left him and Lina to deal with food.

The fact all I could do was wait and do nothing about Nora made me cranky. It had me speaking without thought, and with a smarting feeling between my lungs that I didn't know what to do with.

Fuck, this felt a lot like despair.

I wanted to text her. Call her. Go to her. Kiss her again. Do more. Whenever I caught an interesting passage in a book, I wanted to screenshot it and send it to Nora, like I had since we first talked about our favorite stories in a café in San Francisco.

Every time, I took the screenshot and saved it with a few notes in a folder, just in case. Each note ended with a version of, I wish I could send you this. It made me think of you. I miss you.

At least I now knew my heart hadn't been dead, it had only been dormant. It had been waiting for the right person.

Ironic, that at the end it might not matter, anyway.

Chapter 25

Date: March 24

To: Mr. Smith

From: Eleanora

Subject: all about that sweet success

Dear Mr. B.,

It's with joyous affection that I write this letter, to inform you that I've received three letters from investors wanting to be a part of my business.

Did you see that? THREE!!!

As a consequence, the incubator has offered extra coaching sessions to help me negotiate with my investors (!) and maximize the influx of money and resources.

Mr. B., we did it!

You put me in this program so I could learn how to get here, and take this opportunity to jump straight into the business of my dreams. A chance to change things for people like me. And I did! And I will.

I met every one of my goals— I met YOUR goals, too! Even more, I learned to shoot for the moon. I asked for my wildest dreams, buying myself room to negotiate down. But wouldn't you know it? What I got was my dreams on a silver platter… and another, and another. On three platters, Mr. B. I will have a generous salary, and I'm getting signing bonuses, and enough independence from the investors that I can still take my company in the direction I want.

If you think I cried when I got the first letter, imagine how I felt by the third. I was shaking, Mr. B.. I'm not altogether sure I have stopped…

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Soon you'll be done with me. Isn't that a weird feeling?

Ms. Eleanora Toledo, M. Ed., Esq.

PS: this is a disclaimer that I'm not legally allowed to call myself an esquire wherever the title is reserved for lawyers or other regulated professionals. I'm using it here for effect because I always thought it looked so fancy and old fashioned, and I chuckled while writing it down. The M. Ed. is legally my own! I acquired it through many a sacrifice, thank you very much.

Date: April 7

To: Mr. Smith

From: Eleanora

Subject: the blues

Dear Mr. Beanpole,