Page 62 of Yours, For Good

"CAN BEST FRIENDS BE lovers?"

Her question stole the air from me.

There were words I needed to find, something truthful for her to learn from my lips. I tried to speak, but my heart beat too loud for me to hear my own thoughts. The hug may have started innocently enough, but as soon as our eyes connected again— with her in my arms, with her soft body leaning against mine— I'd lost the plot.

This organ hammering in my chest… it wanted to rewrite the ending so desperately, it was willing to use my blood for ink.

All I could do was start with her name.

"Nora…"

Her beautiful brown eyes gazed at me openly, with no hesitation. Where she might have shown me reservation before, all I could see was…

It was…

Her eyes dropped to my lips. With enough time, I might have understood what it meant, but I didn't get to put the thoughts together. All I knew was the drum in my chest…

… and the feel of her lips suddenly on mine.

The world stopped. Inertia shoved me into a liminal state, and I tumbled through time and space— all I knew was her kiss, the pressure of her body against me, and the birth of something big in my chest. Her mouth may have been on mine for a second or a century, I didn't know. It hadn't been enough, in any case. I wanted it to last eons.

Her tongue sought mine. I let her in; she moaned. The sound branded itself in my brain— it changed the chemistry of every neuron that controlled who I was. Her lips, so soft and assured, heated every inch of my skin. I squeezed her against me, desperate for more.

Nora surrounded my neck with her arms and pulled me closer. She tasted me thoroughly, and my poor, hungry heart took it for water in the desert of my feelings. Greed for her mouth turned to flames lapping at my chest, because this kiss wasn't enough.

The roots taking hold in the grounds of our relationship grew at an exponential rate, stems thicker and deeper where I'd chopped them before— but I'd chopped them before for a reason.

I shouldn't be kissing her.

I stopped moving. Frost turned my body into a glacier. Half the root system crystallized in the dirt where my heart had been. It hurt to pull back.

"Nora…" I placed my hands on her waist and took a step back.

She opened dreamy eyes my way, but the haze disappeared within a single breath. That pained me, too. It hadn't been longer than an instant since I'd had her lips on mine, and I yearned for them even more than before.

She gasped. "We kissed."

"I'm sorry…"

"I kissed you." She took a step back. "Did I ruin this?!"

"Nora— no—"

"I shouldn't have kissed you!" Anxiety stole her brown eyes from the warmth I'd always seen there. "I'm so sorry—"

"Don't apologize, please—"

"You broke it off— you didn't want to kiss me—"

"I did! I do— Please."

"You do?" She brought her palm to her chest, like she needed to catch her breath, or check her heart was still there.

I wanted to do the same. It was hard to understand what exactly had happened in my chest, but in the confusion of the moment, all I could see was a crack.

I didn't think I could patch it with truth, but I had to try. I'd shovel as much of it as I could into the void and hope for the best.

"I want to kiss you so fucking much— but I can't— I shouldn't—"