Page 54 of Yours, Finally

"I want to give us the best shot at this. This matters to me, Jake. We're finally doing something about what we've felt for years— and I'll go to great lengths to shield it. To make sure I'm giving it my best. All I ask is that you give yourself to it, too. That this is really you and me. No restraint."

He pressed his lips together and shrugged away the discomfort on his shoulders. "I see your point. It's not that I don't. As long as you don't want this out of shame…"

"Shame? Of course not!" I leaned forward and reached for his hand. No one would be able to see the gesture, and I needed the contact. "Please, believe me. The way my heart feels when I'm around you— hell, the way it all flips when we're apart. It's the seed of something important, something I thought I would never get to see to the end. I don't want to hide it. What I want is all my attention on you, and for you to have all your attention on me. So we give it what it needs, to take roots deep in the soil. So that what grows isfucking epic."

He snorted. His gaze stayed on me, searching.

"I'm excited about us." I gave him a tremulous smile. "I can't wait for their reaction… when we're ready for it, because we proved this is it, and we're going for the long haul."

My free hand shook, and I curled it into a fist to conceal it. Taking this position in the conversation forced me to push all my chips to the center of the table; a gamble for all I possessed. High risk, high reward, and I planned to go all in.

I had never invested as much in past relationships— because I never cared as much. But if that's why they had failed, I would not risk it again.

This time, my smile was fueled by resolve. "To be honest I thought you'd be relieved by my idea."

He sighed and interlocked fingers with mine. "Not going to lie, I am a little relieved. It gives us time to decide how we're going to tell people. Prepare for your parents' reaction. Gabe's."

"It will also look better since you'll have been a VP for a bit longer than three business days. And we'll get to develop the kind of thick skin that will protect us from everyone's teasing."

"I'll survive the teasing— that's the least of my worries. I've been waiting for too long to let any of that stop me. But having time to just focus on you… on us. To figure out what the hell we're going to tell them. Yeah… I can get behind that.'"

"So we'll keep it private? Exclusive? Real?"

"We will."

I squeezed his hand, and his thumb rubbed my skin. We smiled at each other.

"I'll row us back," he said, "or we'll get in trouble even before we start."

And he did, and we continued with our epic restraint in this one big way… but it felt free, anyway.

Chapter 18

Jake

Hours of conversation, cardplaying, and eating and drinking later, I retreated to my bedroom alone.

It neared midnight and I stared into the soft darkness around me. My shoulders were mildly sore from rowing earlier in the day, but the good kind of sore. My room, like all others in the house, had a queen bed, bedside tables, and a closet, with wooden walls and a whitened ceiling. My window overlooked the forest and the warm, soft-light lamp that remained on until one in the morning; with it, tree branches cast shadows on my wall that danced with the wind. Their movements were hypnotic, and they typically helped me drift into sleep.

Not that night. Feelings and thoughts of all colors twisted inside, as I contemplated recent developments. Vi and I wereinvolved, finally starting something… undefined. It felt so, since we were going to hide it. At least it didn't mean it was casual, or that it didn't matter. We were together. Even if we wouldn't let everyone else know yet.

Through it all, a warm thread stitched pieces of me together. The fact that after a decade of yearning for this chance, of hoping she could feel something like this for me, we laid bricks on the foundation of us as a couple— it repaired the cracks that had me doubting she could see something worthwhile with me.

The only question left was if we'd build something strong enough to withstand the storm, when everyone learned we were together, and we'd hidden it.

My stomach didn't get a chance to churn at the prospect, because the handle on my door let out a soft click. It opened slowly, the hall still dark. I sat on my bed, my heart in my throat, because the only person who would come in trying to make no sound was precisely the person I wanted the most.

"Jake?" Vi's voice was barely a whisper.

I smiled, even if I wasn't sure she could see it in the dim light of my room. "I'm awake."

She closed the door behind her just as quietly as she'd opened it, and came and sat at the edge of my bed.

"Hey." There was just enough light to see her soft smile. "Surprise."

"Hello, Violeta." I lifted a hand to her face. "Fancy seeing you here. Fulfilling one of a million fantasies I've had over the years."

"I couldn't resist. I had the same fantasy, you know? You coming into my room at night. But I got tired of waiting."