Page 42 of Yours, Finally

"Me neither. I'll have you a little, if I can't have you at all."

The confession escaped my lips— I usually didn't mind wearing my heart on my sleeve, but at that moment, I wished saying the words didn't come so easily. I wished I could take them back. If only because they made me feel raw and exposed.

"Shit," I said.

Jake blinked three, five times, his face stuck in neutral, like he couldn't decide how to react. I gathered every ounce of courage I had and kept my eyes on him.

His gesture softened until he gazed at me with infinite tenderness. He lifted a hand and caressed my face.

His thumb grazed the corner of my lips. "I'll take as much as I deserve and, Vi… with this scarred heart of mine, I don't deserve as much. You deserve someone who will fight the world for you. Someone who will make you feel as precious as you are. Me? I'm stuck in this place, because as much as I want you, I don't know if I can show up and keep your family at the same time. I can't disappoint them. I hate the idea they could feel betrayed. And I hate the idea of not having you at all."

My heart drummed in my chest, and my breathing was so fast I'd become lightheaded.

His eyes dropped to my mouth. "I want to figure it out. I don't know why I can't stop imagining your parents looking at me with contempt. That's not them, I know— I've only gotten love from them. But that stake won't release my heart. The picture won't leave my mind."

I gulped, his words sharp in the space between us.

He shook his head. "I'll try to fix it. I'm going to try to work it out. I won't ask you to give me time to do it. You deserve to move on if you need to."

I put a hand on his, and it stilled on my cheek. "I tried to move on. It didn't work. I've waited for a decade… what are a couple more months, in the grand scheme of things?"

The smile that curled a corner of his lips held a hint of surrender. "I'll hurry, then. For now…"

"For now, this is it. We can be friendly again and live with it. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks."

"We'll see."

And with no more words, he helped me finish dessert, before we paid the bill and left each on our own way.

Chapter 14

Jake

I went into thekaraoke bar a few minutes early, hoping to settle into the ambience and feel comfortable. The text I received made that very difficult.

Gabe: We're so sorry, but we're going to have to cancel. I'm late with a meeting and Lina has to go help Lucía with something. After my meeting I'm going to help Lina and Lucía, too

Lina: I'm so sorry! We'll make it up to you guys. I hope you and Vi have fun

Gabe: we'll schedule another one, I promise

I found a small table and sat on the stool, contemplating my options. After our conversation at the restaurant a few days before, Vi and I had a common objective— to learn to spend time together without devolving into dangerous territory.

Years and years of pining and restraint, all gone as soon as we spent time together alone. Without Gabe and Lina, karaoke left us testing the strength of our wills. Considering how easily we showed our cards to each other; how her mere presence seemed to push me to the edge, an evening alone might be playing with fire.

I didn't get to reach a conclusion before Vi appeared by my side.

"Hey! Gabe and Lina aren't here yet?" she asked.

"I guess you haven't checked your texts?"

"No— what happened?" She took out her phone.

I answered anyway. "They can't make it."

Her eyes ran over her screen, before she lifted her sight to me, her body still. "Oh. What do you want to do?"

She still had her bag hanging from her shoulder and her phone in her hand. We shared a long gaze as we assessed each other.