Page 117 of Yours, Finally

"No— I mean. Yeah, I wouldn't typically believe this is easy to come back from. Not that I think it's easy, I just…"

"Okay. What's going on?" Lina rested with her elbows on the stone countertop.

I wrung my hands together. "Did we make too many mistakes? I broke up easily with guys before for far less. But with Jake…"

"Are you thinking about breaking up with Jake?"

"No! That's not what I mean. We shouldn't have hidden it, but it was my idea. Meanwhile, Jake is having a hard time with everyone learning about us. Why am I okay with that? Because Iamokay with that. With the other guys it was easy to let them go, but I hate the idea of even wondering about it when it's about Jake…" I sighed.

"Then it's different than with the guys before. Why?"

"Because I understand why it's hard, and because I love him…"

I let the words hang in the air, half expecting a reaction from Lina. She didn't show much of a response. She didn't appear shocked.

It helped. The knot around my throat loosened.

She gave me a lopsided smile. "I think all relationships go through a point where people need to decide if they will work through the issues keeping them apart for the sake of making it work. I think this is it for you and Jake."

"Did you go through that with Gabe?"

"Yes, of course."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't have known. Things with Jake have never felt easy, and yet here I am. Thinking it should be easy. Meanwhile, you and Gabe always looked so happy. From the start, you looked like you'd won the lottery. I expected to feel that way— uncomplicated joy. And even though there's joy— so much joy— there's also confusion. Struggle. I don't know how to wrap my head around that."

Lina snorted. "What if I told you Gabe and I struggled to stay together?"

My eyes widened. Jake had mentioned at one point that Gabe had almost broken up with Lina. It was as hard to believe back then as it was now. But if they had made it work…

"What happened?" I asked.

Lina sighed and reached for a wine glass in a cupboard. "I think this conversation calls for wine. Water only for you still?"

She grabbed a bottle of white wine from the fridge. I checked my phone; still no news from Jake.

"Okay, get me a sip or two, please." I sent a quick follow up text to Jake.

Vi: I'm at Gabe's with Lina. Let me know when you're free

Now with glasses next to us, Lina sat at the island with me.

"Are you going to tell me about the biggest fight you ever had with Gabe?" I asked.

"No. I'm going to tell you about how we started."

I took a sip of wine, a curious look on my face.

She sighed. "You see… Gabe and I weren't even real to start with. My uncle's machismo forced my hand, and I ended up asking Gabe to pretend to be my boyfriend. It was the only way I'd get to make the business move I wanted with my family's company."

Shock reverberated in my bones. "You guys were faking?!"

"At the start! After more than a year together, believe me— we're not faking anymore. My point is that we hid things, too, but we figured it out."

I blinked several times, adjusting the revelation into my mental maps.

"Did you get confused, too?" I finally asked.

"I did— for a while. I told myself I needed to get Gabe out of my system." Lina's smile held plenty of self-deprecation. "Flash forward eighteen months later, and I don't think that will ever be possible. I can't see my life without Gabe. Can you see your life without Jake?"