Page 34 of Yours, Forever

She offered me a mug and I took it; she didn't look at me. She shrugged.

I lowered my head to catch her eyes. "Are you shy about sex?"

"No, I..." She shook her head. "I'm not going to talk about sex with you right now. Not in the middle of the night, not when we're in our underwear."

"Mhhh." There she went, closing off again. "All right."

It would be better for both of us if I let it go. To respect her pace, and to pull myself together again.

Maybe she wasn't shy about sex; she didn't seem out of sorts by our near nakedness. Yet she still pushed me out. Understandable; I had asked a lot of her with this ordeal.

But I wanted more. Whether it was the generous thing to do or not.

"So is there something on your mind?" I asked. "Is that why you can't sleep?"

Her eyes searched me. If only I knew what she needed from me to open up a smidge. I'd give it to her in a heartbeat.

She sighed. "The rest of the money that I was meant to get arrived earlier today. I'm out of sorts."

I blew on my tea and drank some of it. Valerian, from the flavor coating my tongue. "Why? It's what we agreed to."

"It's just... I've never seen money like that ever, least of all in my account."

"It's a good thing, though. Right?"

"It's sobering, for one." She sipped from her tea. "A stark reminder that we're married, and it's business."

I frowned and pushed away any hopeful thoughts that wanted to spring into my mind. "Were you... forgetting?"

Fuck. I'd failed. All I could think about were the possibilities. A world where Eva might forget our marriage existed out of convenience. It would mean so much; it would mean...

A dream.

She shrugged. "Impossible to forget, but also... I don't know. Things seem to have calmed down the past month, and we're pretty comfortable with each other— evidently. But it reminds me this is a deal and it's going to end one day."

Okay, she didn't forget our marriage was about business... but if she ever decided she might not want it to end...

Gah, stop in your tracks, man. No armes castillos en el aire.

Valerian was supposed to calm you down.

I took two big gulps of tea before I continued. "Was that stressing you out?"

I held my breath.

"Yeah." She bit her lip. "At the very least, it's that I keep thinking about what happens if something goes wrong and I have to give you the money back. I feel like I can't touch it until we're done, just in case. But I'm already using it now that I have two people helping me."

I finished my tea. "That's what you're supposed to do with the money. Use it, darling."

She gave me a look at the term of endearment but didn't comment on it. "Of course you're free with your money. You're rich. A filthy billionaire, if I remember correctly. Have you ever known what it's like to count pennies?"

Crap. I'd been so busy playing catch up with my heart that I'd been careless.

"No, I have not," I said. "I'm sorry. But you shouldn't have to wait to use it."

"No, Max. What if something happens and you don't get what you want? Or... or... whatever. If I spend some of the money and have to give it back, I don't know where I'd find enough to pay you for it."

Her voice didn't tremble, but her hands did. She'd been holding her mug, and she had to put it down on the stone. She looked down at it and muttered a softdamn.