Page 43 of Love in Times of Contempt

"I'm invisible, Liam. That's the problem!"

Shit. Saying the words out loud came with the knowledge of them, how real they seemed now that she named her feelings… yet the words shook her, confusing. They seemed accurate yet wrong, and she didn't know what to make of it.

And still it fueled her anger, to recognize the piece of it that rang true.

He unbuckled his belt with the same kind of intensity that Ana had been using for her shoe straps. "You're not."

Now that the first words were out, they all begged for freedom from that place inside her she'd tried to hide them in. Especially when Liam didn't seem to see the part of it that was real.

"I am!" she argued. "Don't you see? They're asking me boring questions while you get all the good ones. All they care about is that I'm your girlfriend, who cares if I directed the damn thing?"

"It is a sad reality that every actress learns quickly." He unbuttoned his pants and took them off. "It sucks, but it's real."

"I'm not an actress, and no one should just accept it, whether they're an actress or not!" She crossed her arms, body tense as she stood watching him. The spikes in her throat were aflame, the heat warming her face and the smoke making her eyes water.

"Then don't take it." Liam turned away to throw the pants over a chair. "You could push back a little."

"Can I? Well, then maybe Becca could have coached me more. She didn't hesitate to tell me what to wear, she can tell me what to say, right?"

He turned around and faced her, no pants, shirt open, hands on his hips. "God, Ana. This is your first time doing something like this. You'll get used to it."

"That's your solution. For me to get used to it."

"So that you can manage it better. Seriously? Don't turn this on me. I'm not the one you're angry at."

"But you have to understand this wouldn't be happening if this were the premiere for another film of mine and you weren't around. But you are, and you might be in the future, and what's gonna happen then? More of the same!" She twisted her hands into fists against her body. "You really need to start helping me out and redirect the conversation somewhere I can actually say something even remotely intelligent."

Liam jerked back. "If I weren't around? That's why you've kept your distance from me?!"

"Really? That's what you're focusing on?"

"Of course I'm going to focus on how my partner keeps on saying things that sound a lot like she's not sure we're gonna make it!"

Ana shook her head as if to clear it up. "What are you talking about? I've never said that! You might not be there for my premieres in the future because you're busy and have your own stuff happening. And it would be different if you weren't there, you know that. You must know that! This is my career, Liam."

"And now I'm talking about us!"

She threw her hands up in the air. "We're in completely different worlds."

"Yes, and that is my problem. Our relationship gets sidelined if your work is on your mind."

Her stomach plummeted to the floor. "That's not fair."

"It is. Last year you almost broke up with me because of your work."

She dropped her hands to her sides, hands in a fist again. "I was never going to break up with you. I didn't even come close."

"But you pushed me away. You're pushing me away again. Do I need to get used to that? Just take it? Learn to live with you saying things like we might be done one day? That when a bunch of reporters ask you dull questions, you're going to avoid me for the rest of the day?"

"Don't take that out of context. You know it's not what I was saying. And we're stronger than that, aren't we? I thought so. I can be angry and frustrated and say things without thinking them through from every angle and it never makes me question the strength of our relationship."

"It's not that simple. Those are not just words. You have to make up your mind, Ana. You keep that margin of error in your mind, always digging at the possibility we're not gonna make it. It grates, right here." He hit his chest with his open palm. "Every time. Did you even realize that, right after we talked about how I'd like to propose one day, you told Logan and Giuliana that you didn't know if you'd ever get married?"

"That's not how I meant it—"

"Do you see us together in your future?"

She stared at him, a gaping chasm in her heart, and she reached to it and stitched the edges together fast, lest it ruin things with Liam.