Page 84 of Yours, For Now

I squeezed her hand in mine. "Of course."

The fragrance of trees gave way to the scent of water, and the general wet greenery and sand smell of its shore.

"It was great also hearing your mom and dad adding their two cents. Refreshing. I spend so much time with my family I forget there are other types of people. Supportive and encouraging people."

"Well, my mom has been amazing that way. She helped my dad learn, and the both of them helped us grow differently. Words like intersectionality and equality were common in my house. My fights with my sister as kids were all about fairness and justice— we were those kids, you know?" I chuckled. "When we grew up Mom told us about her own family, and how she went through things like you have."

"A bit of a miracle that she found your dad."

We stepped onto the dock. The wooden structure went several feet into the lake in a large T shape, unoccupied at the moment. The boat and other water implements were secure in the shed.

We stood at the end of the wooden structure, and I gazed across the lake to the shore and forest across the water. "I think he sees it as a miracle that he found her. He adores her."

"Takes a special kind of man to adore a woman who talks about equality at home, and demands it of her partner."

"And it takes a special kind of person to stand in her truth even when her family tries to cut her off, like with my mom. Someone who will not settle for a partner who won't celebrate that kind of authenticity in her." I pulled Lina's hand to draw her attention, and dipped my head in invitation to sit. Hopefully she read between the lines, and heard how I was talking about my parents, but could be talking about her, too.

We sat at the edge of the dock, legs hanging down and feet almost touching the water.

I reached for her hand again. "My mom and dad… They're everything to me."

She sighed. "You've said that before, but I think I can see it now, too."

"I guess it makes sense, that you see how we are together, then you have your own family reminding you things are different with yours, and it hurts." I pursed my lips, undecided on my next words. But if we were going to have this conversation, I needed to share how I felt. "It's like your parents are not on your side."

The faintest hint of lake fog floated over the water; the breeze that danced around us was warm for the fall.

Lina sniffled, but when I checked on her, her face was composed. "You know, when I asked you to join this project with me, with us— I knew why I was doing it. It would finally make them consider my proposal for the first time. I did that on purpose. I knew they would see you and your family as the key to making it possible. I thought I could take it, but it is hard. The way they see you as the leader."

Water sloshed against the dock posts in a soothing rhythm, a contrast to the anxious waves in my veins.

"I asked you to be my fake boyfriend to get here," she said. "And we did. I got what we wanted— we both did. Even if we don't get the stadium, the future has promise. But now, having you be part of this makes me invisible, and I still may not get the company."

"If we were together…" I bit the inside of my lips and didn't finish the sentence.

"If we don't break up… my family will think they were always right. They will see how I spend time I don't have with you, how I pamper you with food and coffee, and every look I give you will be adoring and full of hope to them. They'll think I'm patiently waiting for a ring, and that my focus finally shifted to the future they always assumed I would want. If it were only about ignoring them or correcting their beliefs, that would be one thing. But I worry any chances I had of inheriting the company would turn to smoke, because being with you would tell them that the risk of me changing my mind was higher than ever, and wasn't worth taking."

My heart sunk, a plop as it fell right into the lake.

"I remember a story my mom told me," I said. "How there used to be people who went to University in Chile with the sole purpose of meeting someone there and getting married. The degrees became part of their dating resume, rather than the reflection of what they wanted to do in their lives."

She nodded, eyes on the water below us. "I can't risk it, Gabe. I don't care if someone chooses to stay home and take care of their family, as long as it's fulfilling to them, but that's not me. I can't imagine getting stuck in my current position, even worse if I tried to start again somewhere else. Convincing my dad to give me his share of the business is the option I'm going for. If that doesn't work out… well. He will retire in a couple of years. I'll know then what my future will be."

A few pops of yellow tinged the trees around us and the lake. I sighed. "And that's why we need to break up."

"We've always planned for it."

"Yeah." I looked at our linked hands and brought them to my thigh. "We both have good reasons for breaking up."

And yet, after these weeks together, and after what we'd done that morning, this conversation didn't feel like planning for it, but like we were both trying to remember why.

Lina seemed more clear than I did, her voice heavy and echoing how I felt, but also determined. So I brought my reasons up again, a little bit for her, and a lot for me.

"Remember when I told you about my break up with Essie?"

"Yes. She wanted to get married, and it was one of the issues."

"Yeah, but it wasn't the main one. It's that she wanted us to be, well, us. She didn't like that I made work and my family the main thing, and I get that. No girlfriend would like that work was such a huge deal for me, and I don't want that for my partner and I, either… but I'm just not at a place where I can have that balance between life and work. Not yet."