Page 77 of Yours, For Now

I mirrored her, my head turned to the side. Her gaze jumped all over my face.

"I don't know," she said. "And I don't know how to make it happen."

My lips tilted in a small smile. "I think that telling me something like that counts. Letting me know the parts of you that need a little help."

"But what if you make fun of me for it?" Her voice was low, her confession seeming to constrict her throat. "Or dismiss it?" She gulped. "Make me feel like a fool?"

I lifted my hand. Wet and all, I caressed her face. "I don't ever want to do that." My thumb left a trail of water on her skin as it made an arch on her face, but she didn't seem to mind. Her eyes were fixed on mine. "I think of it more like a privilege, to be someone you would trust like that."

"I suppose that if I want to know what that feels like, I have to give you a chance to prove you mean it."

My breathing turned fast, my lungs feeding oxygen to the fire igniting in my blood. I could hear my pulse in my ears, the rush of it filling my mind and helping me forget why I shouldn't rub her bottom lip with my thumb. Pushing me to do it anyway.

My eyes were glued to her mouth, taking note of every detail as it became pliant under my touch. "I'd like to think I've shown you who I am."

Her nod was slow, contemplative. "You told me you're not always good."

"I didn't mean I'd play with your heart, Lina."

She wrapped her fingers around my wrist, and for an instant I worried she'd push my hand away. But she didn't.

Her warm skin stayed in place, a beacon of light glimmering from the point of contact. She closed her eyes and sighed.

She whispered, "I think I would have tried to open up, if we didn't have to break up."

Gallons of liquid lead filled my chest, moving slow like lava and with the same consistency, pressing down on my stomach. I wanted to grab each ounce of it and throw it away, far, where it wouldn't weigh down my heart with responsibility. It scared me to let myself imagine, hope for a way to make it work, because I knew my limits. I didn't know if I could do it all, and have it all. Give her everything.

I let my hand curl around her neck, my thumb now on her pulse. It was fast like mine. "If you're still single in a couple of years, can I try again? Do it properly."

"Are we being ridiculous?" she asked.

As much as I hoped she meant we were being ridiculous for waiting for two years, she could be trying to put me down gently. I would have asked, but Max's laughter reached us from around the corner of the house.

"I hope you guys are decent!" he exclaimed as he and Javier appeared.

"We brought you drinks. I hope the same you had earlier works."

I didn't let go of her nor turned away, until my friends were already up the stairs and settled in the water with us.

"Jake and Vi went to sleep." Max offered me one of the glasses he carried, and groaned as he relaxed into the water. "Separately, Gabe. Chill."

"I didn't say anything." I helped Lina reach for her glass, taking it from Javier and giving it to her.

"We don't talk about it," Javier added in her direction.

"I wondered." Lina sipped from her glass. "But what I'm hearing is that I shouldn't ask."

"Neither Gabe, Jake, or Vi talk about it," Max offered. "So we don't."

"This isn't about how I feel about it, which isn't bad, by the way," I said. "But why should my opinion matter? So I'm not going to talk about it until they do. Besides, it's more fun to tease Max about his situation."

"Oh?" Lina smiled. It helped the weight in my chest dissipate.

"I need to get married. Soon. For inheritance and business reasons. And to stick it to my dad."

Javier scoffed. "It's complicated. And absurd."

Lina laughed.