Page 68 of Yours, For Now

"But you don't get to decide what I want for myself."

I frowned. "Fair enough. I take the words back— but not what I meant. I hope you don't settle for someone whose idea of a good time is take out at the office. You deserve better than stealing time from the day job, or standing around at a soccer game."

Funny, that I would make a dig at myself like that, in the hope I'd convince both of us not to take this fantasy forward.

"I do. I will not settle." She stilled, and her eyes never wavered from me. "The day will come when I'll look for someone who wants to spend time with me and have work-life balance. But that day will come when I can have a work-life balance, too."

As much as I liked to be right, that one hurt. Maybe because somewhere inside of me, I had hoped that the little I gave her would be enough.

"I'm glad," I made myself say. I drew circles on my folded thigh with the tips of my fingers, the fabric smooth under my skin. "Do you have an idea when you might start thinking about that?"

She stared at me as if wanting to ask more, like maybe she understood the question breathing beneath my words.

She didn't ask, just like I didn't explain. Too risky for Lina, who liked to feel strong, and for me, who couldn't ask her to wait and feel righteous about it.

"I hate what I'm going to say…" she put her food on the coffee table, too, and ran her fingers through her hair. She sighed. "But I don't know. Depends on whether my dad retires as planned, and Enrique stays away."

I disliked the part of me who relished in the fact that her answers might not come for a couple of years from now, just because it gave me a chance at matching our timelines. It was a selfish part of me, because it meant keeping Lina on tenterhooks, depending on the men in her life to give her a chance.

How much more like the men in her family did that make me?

God, I needed to get my growing feelings in check.

I took a deep breath. "Even more important, then, to do what we can to get a contract in place, whether with this stadium or some other project. You hope it'll get your dad to leave you his share, don't you?"

She crossed her arms and stared at the floor. "Yeah. At this point, I don't see another way."

"Have you told them how you feel? They would be wrong to stop someone with your passion from running the business."

She gazed up at me from under the ridge of her eyebrows. "I have told them in every single way I know how, short of begging. I've shown them with my actions and used my words. They hide their heads in the sand, and tell me to wait and see."

Her voice was tired and ragged, and it reached deep inside of me.

"I'm sorry, Lina. Of course you have. I don't understand them, as men and as business owners, and it came out as if I doubted you. But I don't."

"I don't understand them either, but I don't have the luxury of waiting for an answer. They might never even accept the question. They're machistas— as simple as that. And it sucks for me."

I frowned and stared at my lap. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help you in this, that won't just be another man taking over."

"You're doing all I asked you to do. You're doing fine."

"I want to do more than fine. I want to be there for you."

She shrugged. "It's okay. You're not my real boyfriend."

And the fact hurt.

"Hey," she added. She reached forward with a hand across the sofa cushion. "Sorry. I got a bit defensive. But I appreciate it. You've been a great friend."

We gazed at each other for a minute. I took her hand; it was warm in mine.

I gave her a nod. "It's almost time. Let's clean this up, go get a coffee, and we'll get on that website."

"Refresh every five seconds, making myself sick every time."

I chuckled. "Let's not do that, okay?"

Gabe cleaned up our lunch and stepped out to make us coffee. While alone in his office, Violeta came and sat where Gabe had been.