Page 45 of Beautiful Madness

“Fuck you,” I said, my voicemore of a wheeze and a thought more than actual words but I knew he heard me.

He drew back, just a little,and there was a frown in his eyes. “What the fuck,” he said, “are you?”

He was about to find out.

So was I, though, wasn’t I?

I pushed my blade back into itsspecial sheath as the angel loosened his hold. Just a little, but a little wasenough. And without another hesitation, I shifted into something I’d seen justa little while earlier.

A crow.

And not a tiny crow, either,but an enormous crow with wings that rivaled the angel’s own.

Like my birth mother before me,apparently I could shift into animals. As a wolf, I preferred that. I was usedto my wolf, and the shift into another animal was much the same and feltsuddenly natural. Easy.Wonderful.

I didn’t fly away as Lucasfloundered, frozen and full of shock. I attacked. I screamed, and my crow’svoice was the stuff of nightmares, so loud, and strident that it hurt even myears. It devastated the angel.

Blood exploded from his earsand his stare, black and red, somehow, at the same time, went empty. He beganto fall.

Enough, Kait. Please.

But I was caught in my madglee, my huge power, and my dark rage, and it wouldneverbe enough. Iwanted him dead. I wanted him to suffer for his power over me, and most of all,for his belief that he could take my beloved blade.

I flew at him, my talonscatching him as he fell, and I ripped through his flesh. Oh, the madness insideme. It was fucking beautiful.

But within the darkness, somesane, human part of me whispered a plea.

God help us.

Help us both.

Killing an angel would ruin me,somehow, if I managed to do it. What humanity was left inside me did not wantto kill an angel. I wasn’t sure why. I would have had no such reluctance had hebeen a demon trying to hurt me, destroy me,killme.

Something came at me then,something I could not fight, and took away everything I was, everything I had.Even my blade. It was a relief, in some strange way. I gave up, tamed by aforce I could not see. It took up all the space inside me and there was nothingmore.

It was proof that no matter howpowerful we thought we were, there was always going to be something bigger.

When I smashed against theground, it was as my woman. There was pain, but it didn’t matter. I opened myeyes to see Nicole staring down at me. She knelt with her legs cushioning myhead, running her fingers over my face, her tears tinged with unnamable colorsand shining like wet crystals.

“Lucas,” I tried to say. “Is healive?” But my voice was garbled and came out as more of a moan than actualwords. It didn’t escape me that I’d asked after the angel who tried to kill meinstead of the blade.

“Yes,” she said. And her smilelit up the night. “You are not the evil, Kait.”

I was alive.

I struggled to turn to my side,then got to my knees. Frozen sticks and sharp rocks dug into my flesh, and Iwelcomed the feeling. It was so…normal. Nicole took my arm and helped me to myfeet, and then turned me away from her.

Lucas stood a few yards away,battered and bloody and bruised but alive. He looked like a wild thing,something unreal and both beautiful and pure, but savage and nightmarish at thesame time.

“The blade is yours,” he said.“I will not try to take it again.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” And justlike that, the blade was back in my hand. The magic that had hidden it wasstripped away, but that was okay. I no longer needed to hide it. I didn’t doubtLucas’s promise.

“Someday,” he said, “you willcome fight with me.”

“Someday,” I asked, “when I’mdead?”

He smiled. “Don’t you know? Youwill never die.”