Page 60 of Blood Magic

He tossed a look at Adam. “I’ll come for you.”

Adam stood, and though I didn’t look at him, I heard the effort in his voice. “I’ll be waiting.”

Jared put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m driving you home.”

I was too spent to argue. “And Zach.”

“Yes.” His voice gentled. “Kait.”

“Don’t do that,” I whispered. Pity would make me cry, and I absolutely did not want to cry.

After I got into my car—passenger side—he leaned in through the open doorway and put his forehead against mine. “It’s okay that you couldn’t kill him. He’s an alpha, and you are not a killer.”

I’m an alpha, I wanted to snarl. And I am a killer when I want to be. But I said nothing. I felt as though I’d betrayed my father by not ending his murderer when I had the chance. And maybe that made me…weak.

He pulled back, just a little. “If you’d killed him, you would have been responsible for his pack. Every wolf there would have come to challenge you. Every alpha from across the country would come to kill you and take your people. That would be your life, and it would change you, honey.” His voice changed then, became fierce and angry. “And it is not your fucking duty to avenge your father’s death or your mother’s banishment. It never was.”

“All these years,” I told him, “I’ve been waiting. I needed to get strong enough to take out Adam Thorne. All this time. And when I had a chance, slight though it was, I couldn’t do it.” I looked at him, finally. “I told him, Jared. I told him I didn’t want to kill him.” I frowned, confused. “Why would I do that?”

Zach must have taken out the other goon while I’d been occupied with Thorne, and though he was bloody, I didn’t think all of it, or even most of it, was his blood. Lingering power from the magic of his master? I didn’t know.

He hadn’t gotten into the car. He leaned against the hood, watching the slowly dispersing crowd, giving me and my alpha a moment.

My ex-alpha.

Which reminded me—and while I was being honest and open I might as well go ahead and say the rest. “I’m upset that I finally got you, that I got a decent alpha, and then I rejected you.” I wet my lips. “The two constant things I dreamed about when I was hobbled—killing my old alpha and gaining a proper one.” I laughed. “I failed at both of those things even when they were handed to me.”

He leaned against the open door and crossed his arms. “The wolf in you wants those things, Kait, but you are more than your wolf. I’ll be your wolf’s alpha. I’ll be your friend. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. You haven’t lost me.” His stare pierced right through to my soul. “You will never lose me.”

I bit my trembling lip, unwilling to cry. I nodded.

He squeezed my shoulder then jogged around the car to get into the driver’s side. And as he waited for the new guy to get into the back seat, he told me, “Don’t fuck yourself up over Thorne. You know that if you need to save your life or the lives of any person you love, you will absolutely kill him.” He waited until I looked at him. “You know that.”

And suddenly, I did know that. That was the truth. If it came down to it, I would kill to protect my people. I just would. I nodded, then smiled, and it was a real smile. “You’re right. I would.”

As he pulled from the parking lot, I saw a dejected spirit walking along the street, but I was too tired to care. I needed to go home, see my dog, and eat.

The night had been strange, even for me.