Page 37 of Own It

“What are you doing? Go home,” she spat as soon as I peeled back the covers and started climbing in with her.

Hugging her body and making her turn so that her back was to me, I kissed her neck, inhaling the scent.

“Why you wanna date, baby?”

“Because I’m single and want to share my life with someone. Why else?”

“You can share yo’ life with me.” I pressed my cheek on top of hers after kissing it.

Craning her neck and forcing my face from hers, she looked into my eyes.

“That’s not what you want, Josias. You want multiple women and have an allergic reaction to anything close to monogamy.”

I just looked down into her pretty face, lips covered in some type of muted gloss. She was right and speaking nothing but fucking facts.

“Not no more,” I lied, hating myself for it, but after hearing about a date and seeing my shit hidden away, I had to act quickly before an invite to her wedding ended up in my fucking mailbox.

Pursing her lips in disbelief, she asked, “So you’re done with Tarin?”

“I am. I haven’t been fucking with Tarin like that for a minute. She do too much, and I been focused on work, so I can’t even remember the last time I dealt with her outside of my kids.”

Shit, I wished the shit a nigga was saying was in fact true. I hated Tarin but couldn’t cut her loose no matter how hard I fucking tried. Shit was easy with her. I could be my-fucking-self whereas Kasia wanted me to be a nigga I wasn’t. Tarin took the time I gave her and made the most of it while Kasia constantly wanted to know who I was with and if I was only fucking with her. It could never just be about us.

Tarin got pissed, too, whenever she became privy of my transgressions, but she would never leave, so there were no real consequences other than an argument and a possible hospital visit for whatever poor female I’d hit. Fucking over Kasia was too risky because I knew she had a limit.

Same time, in a perfect world, I would just co-parent with Tarin and be the faithful, focused, one-woman man Kasia asked me to be. But this wasn’t a perfect world, and I wasn’t a one-woman man by far. I couldn’t even make it twenty-four hours doing right. I might have not necessarily fucked every day—I was too busy for that shit—but I at least talked to several bitches daily and made plans to fuck when the time allotted.

“You swear?” Kasia broke me from my spiraling ass thoughts. A better man would’ve come clean, but that wasn’t me.

“I do.” I kissed her slowly, making her turn onto her back so I could get in between her legs.

We only broke the kiss so she could remove the T-shirt she was sleeping in which left her naked since Kasia never wore underwear to bed. I wasted no time revealing my dick and pushing my way inside of her tight walls that I hadn’t felt in a whole three months. Despite my many women, she was the only one I made love to and the only one I gave head to. I used to give that shit to Tarin, but once I stopped trusting her ass, I couldn’t do the shit anymore.

“Jojo.” Kasia whimpered, running her soft fingers up the back of my head and through my locs.

Hearing her moan my name in my ear as I gripped her ass and started pounding between her legs was worth every lie I’d told tonight.

Deciding to tell her something true for once, I said, “I love you.”

NINE

daylin

SOMETIME LATER . . .

Rakim entered the bedroom abruptly, holding the old flip phone out to me. This was routine by now, so I knew my father was on the other line.

“Hello?” I spoke into the phone once it was in my free hand.

“Hi, baby. How are you?” I listened to my father let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m fine, Dad.” I massaged my eyes then asked, “I know you don’t like him, but have you spoken to Shaun?”

When I caught eyes with Rakim, I could see the irritation in his face, making me wonder why every time my man’s name came from my mouth, he seemed to be bothered.

“Uh, we spoke briefly, and he’s got an understanding like all of us,” my father replied.

“Spoke briefly? Like he came by? Was he alright or . . .”