Page 26 of Bonfire and Bliss Bookstore

I huff, uncertain of what to say because I’m sure Monty has changed his mind about his suggestion by now. “I’m not really sure if I’m ready for that.”

My mother takes another bite of pancake and I can see she’s trying to phrase whatever she wants to say as nicely as she can.

“Just say what you’re thinking, Mom.”

She smiles, sets down her fork, and focuses my way. “I know the Liberty Ladies can be a lot. But they’re not all wrong. Maybe it is time you start dating again? It’s been almost a year.”

“Not you too,” I mumble.

“You need to do what makes you happy,” she says softly. “But you’ve always loved love. When you moved back home after college you were dating all the time.”

She’s not wrong. It was stupid, really. In high school, I had Monty, so I never really noticed that I wasn’t dating. Then I got to college, and everyone was hyperfocused on finding their person while I was more interested in learning. And reading. But when I graduated and moved back home, I was lonely. Monty was gone. My sister was off traveling the world, and I was surrounded by two people who were so head over heels for each other—my parents—that it made it impossible not to notice what I was missing. Someone to share my life with. Someone to share a meal, or watch a movie, or read a book beside.

I decided to get out there and signed up for all those stupid apps. I became a serial dater. I went on dozens of first dates but was rarely asked out for a second.

For the first time, my belief in the power of love was rocked. I started to worry there was something wrong with me. I tend to ramble, and I don’t love going out—I’d rather spend the night by the fire reading. Like those bonfire nights with Monty.

Honestly, there’s a serious underappreciation for dating in silence.

I started to wonder if maybe I was just boring. If maybe my books were all I’d ever have.

When I met Richard it wasn’t even for a date. I’d decided to take a break from the dating scene and focus on my dream of opening my own bookstore. I’d been working at the library and living at home for three years at that point, saving every penny I had, when I saw an ad for a free seminar in Boston on how to start your own business. I got dressed up, took the train into the city, and then I met Richard. He was teaching the seminar. He worked for a financial company that provided loans to small businesses. His job was to sell people on investing in themselves. I understand that now, but at the time his interest in me and my dreams was so intoxicating I fell hook, line, and sinker. He was older, thirty-two, with this grown-up job and a gorgeous apartment he lived in alone in Boston. We spent most of our weekends there and it was exciting.

He was the first man to show a real interest in me romantically. I thought I was happy. I see now that he really did think my love for the bookstore was a hobby, something I’d get over when I became the woman on his arm at events, the woman raising his kids. He didn’t expect that I’d want to follow through on all the plans we’d made together: Him moving here. Me opening up a store. Us building a life in Hope Harbor.

The moment he got the job offer in California he just assumed I’d follow, and when I didn’t, he ended things. It destroyed my confidence.

Would any man be interested in the real me? Would I be smart enough not to change myself to fit what some man wants me to be?

I don’t trust myself not to jump into a relationship with the first guy who shows interest. I need to figure out what I’m looking for. But, more than that, I need to prioritize the success of my store. Fake dating Monty might give me the chance to do both: figure out what I want in a relationship, and get the Liberty Ladies off my back long enough to focus on revamping sales at the store.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I say, not even sure I’m ready to say the words.

My mom nods excitedly.

I nibble on my lip—here goes nothing. “After book club last night, Monty and I had drinks and he asked me out on a date.”

My mother’s golden eyes light up. “He did? What did you say?”

I sigh and voice my real concerns. Because even if the relationship he’s proposing is fake, I’m afraid my heart won’t know that. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready to date. And also he used to be my best friend. What if this ruins that? Or what if I like him and then he leaves?”

My mom leans forward and squeezes my hand. “But what if it works out? What if Jake Montgomery is actually the type of man you’ve been looking for all along?” She smiles. “Oh, Penny, nothing in life is guaranteed and I know that friendship meant a lot to you, but I’ll tell you, your father was my best friend and the best decision I ever made was taking a chance on him. If you don’t take a chance, you’ll never know.”

A shiver rolls through me and I feel a spark of hope that maybe she’s right. Then I remind myself that it’s all fake and offer my mom a shrug. “Maybe. Thanks for listening, Mom.”

She smiles. “I will always be here to listen, my sweet Penny.”

“I think I’ll run upstairs and see if Quinn wants some pancakes.”

“That’s a sweet idea,” she replies. “Oh, don’t let me forget, Mrs. Montgomery asked me to send you over with some sunflowers.”

Smiling, I nod. I’ll take any excuse to spend time with Ana. Plus, she and I are due a little chat about how her grandson walked in on me changing in his bedroom yesterday. I just hope my favorite Brazilian grandmother isn’t on the let’s set up Penny train like everyone else.

Chapter 10

Monty

I can’t believe I almost kissed Penny Darling. I can’t believe I asked her to be my fake girlfriend. I can’t believe how badly I want her to say yes.