Page 58 of Violent Skies

His voice is low when he speaks again. “You feel guilty.” The statement is calm as his fingers lace through mine. “Look at me,” he asks and I lock onto his gaze. His thumb rubs my finger where my wedding ring once sat.

“I don’t want to,” I admit.

“Do you want to stop?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper. I know he will if I say yes, it’s just who he is. His eyes search mine, looking for any sign of what I might need from him. “If this is too much for you, we stop.” His thumb pauses.

“No—” I cut him off.

“Alright,” he stops me. “Alright.” His lips brush against mine. “Breathe,” he says, his hand pressing to my chest as I inhale slowly. “No guilt, no ghosts.” His hips settle gently between my thighs, not pushing for more but letting me feel him.

“No ghosts.”

“Hey,” he pauses, lifting my chin again. “You’re allowed to touch someone else and feel good.”

I search his face for doubt but find nothing, at least nothing that feels as overwhelming as mine. Koa was his best friend… He knows so much more about him than I ever did. Secrets that make it easier for him to ignore the guilt of what we’re doing, how we’re feeling. I swallow tightly and try to hold onto his words.

Riggs sees the moment when I stop fighting the guilt and just feel. His hand tangles in the sheet beside my head. It’s progress. I can hear him say it loud and clear. “That’s it,” he murmurs, pressing gentle kisses along my jaw. “Eyes on me, Cress.”

I watch him intently, every flicker of control, each glimmer of want. I sink into it and forget myself, forget everything. Riggs’s eyes stay on me as I lose myself in the moment, his heart still pounding in his chest as he leans down to capture my lips in a deep, languid kiss. It’s filled with all the emotions he’s been holding back for all these years. His hands roam my body gently, exploring every curve with reverence.

“I’ve got you,” he reminds me.

“Don’t let go,” I warn him as his hips roll forward. He groans softly, the sound vibrating against my lips. His hands slide down to my hips, gripping them lightly. He does it again, pressing against me more firmly and giving me just enough pressure to feel him without taking it there yet. He’s making a point, it’s slow and sweet. A gentle attempt to avoid all the other negative thoughts.

I arch into him, craving the feeling and desperate to get lost in it. Riggs notices the hunger, the need for release. He pushes closer, his hips moving in small circles to give friction when his mouth covers mine again, swallowing the small sounds.

“More,” I tell him, mumbling against his lips. “I need more.”

“More what?” he asks softly between kisses. His hands move, his thumbs brushing the sides of my breasts. He pulses his hips forward again, pressing himself against my center. “Tell me what you need.”

“You.” I kiss him again, raking my hand into the back of his hair. “Just you.”

He growls against my lips, losing a bit of his control. He hooks his arm under my thigh, lifting my leg high around his waist as he works himself out of his boxers.

When he thrusts this time I feel him; all of him. A warmth explodes and my lips fall open as he sinks deep and pulls me against his chest. He buries his face in my neck as he starts to move. Slow, deep thrusts that fill me completely. His hand grips my thigh possessively, keeping me open and wrapped around him.

It’s been too long since anyone has touched me, and it shows because I’m a mess in minutes, my entire body tensing around him. Riggs feels everything, the sudden tightness, the sharp sting from my nails as I sink them into his back just trying to regain control of myself. A low, primal groan escapes him as he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of me. It only makes him move faster, harder and driven by me completely coming undone. He catches every moan, sweeping them into his mouth with his tongue as his hips work with deliberate quickness.

Riggs’ movements become more urgent, more needy. He breaks the connection to trail open-mouthed kisses down my neck, his hips snapping forward with increasing speed. It’s clear he's searching for his own release now, watching my expression, waiting.

He lifts me from the bed, setting me in his lap and never disconnects, never pulls away. His kisses are hungry and steal the air from lungs quicker than I’m able to fill them. It’s like he’s chasing after all the stolen time. His hands hitch my legs around his back and proceeds to rake his fingers up my back as he thrusts upward into me and I meet him in the middle with matched fervor.

My breath hitches as he drags the orgasm from me, my toes curling as I curl my hands into his hair and grip tightly, never wanting to let go. With a final, powerful snap he buries himself deep inside me just as the orgasm crashes over me. He groans long and low against my neck, the sound vibrating up through his chest as his hips jerk unevenly and he comes with abandon.

His lips trail a line up my throat, and his body begins to relax against mine as we both work to catch our breath. His hands push the sweaty curls from my face and he kisses the corner of my mouth as our eyes meet.

“No guilt,” he says quietly.

“No ghosts.” I brush my nose against his with a lazy, satisfied smile on my face.

2021

“There you are,” Koa says as he comes around the front of the house. The dress pools around my feet on the stairs as I stare up into the night sky and soak in the quiet away from the party. “What are you doing?” He kisses the top of my head as he sinks to the step beside me.

He looks so handsome today in his dress shirt and pants. He’s done away with the jacket but the suspenders are hanging on, digging into his shoulders and over his chest. It’s strange to see him dressed so modestly. Usually every inch of his arms are out and on display, the caramel tones the perfect canvas for the dark ink that covers him head to toe.

Koa brushes his lips over my cheek and his scruffy stubble tickles my skin enough to draw a tiny laugh from me. I lean into his chest, a little cold but a lot grateful for him coming to find me. The party was getting too loud and I needed a break.

“Appreciating the night,” I tell him quietly.