Page 33 of Violent Skies

“It obviously matters or you wouldn’t have said that…” My voice lowers and I look to the ground.

“I was angry,” he says, his tone dropping.

“Are you sure?” I ask, unable to look away.

“Yeah.” He huffs. It’s all I get from him because he moves toward his coat, swiping it off the hood of a nearby car and disappears out the front of the garage. Subconsciously, my body seeks out the comfort and I pull his shirt up around my face as I walk back to the house. More confused than ever. Birdie is sitting on the counter talking to Jesse as she drinks down her cereal milk. Both of them go quiet when I wander in but I ignore the awkwardness and make my way upstairs to shower.

You.

It vibrates through my bones and I can’t seem to shake the hollow, lonely expression on his face after he said it. All these years I knew there was resentment. I just didn’t realize that he held it all toward Koa because of me.

Everything hits me at once, we murdered a man tonight and no matter how bad of a man he was… he died at our hands. Everything is still such a mess and it feels like we’re no closer to figuring out what’s going on than when we started all this. I just want my life back, I want to go back to being sad in my house alone, far, far away from Riggs.

I can’t tell how long I’ve been here. The heat seems to soothe some of my worries but the water turns frigid and I continue to stare at the tiles until it hurts my skin and shortens my breath. My stomach yells at me as I dry off and pull on a pair of pajamas. Just happy to be out of the dress and feeling clean again.

I creep back downstairs, hoping that everyone has gone to bed to find Riggs moving around in the kitchen. I watch him for a moment as he pulls something from a bag under the soft light of the stove, he’s tense but nothing like he was before. As much as I want to push the subject I decide it’s better just to leave him alone and turn to retreat back to the safety of my room but the creaky stairs give me away.

“You never were good at being sneaky,” Riggs sighs, looking over his shoulder.

“You and that shitty Civic were the reason we always got caught.” I argue.

“You walk like an elephant,” he stares at me. “Here.”

He points to the counter and I can’t help but smile.

There’s a milkshake from the mom-and-pop diner down the street, but also french fries from a restaurant in town and a burger from Joeys. He went and picked up each one of my favorites, just like when we were kids.

“This trick isn’t supposed to work anymore.” I reach out and take the milkshake into my hand, it’s chocolate-banana and that only hurts more because he remembers everything.

“Mm,” Riggs smirks, stealing a fry to dip into the top of my cup. “But it is working, isn’t it?”

“A little.” I admit. I sip on the milkshake for a second longer before speaking finally, “I had nowhere else to go, if I could have kept you all clear of this I would have.”

“This is exactly what they wanted, whoever is doing this. They want us at each other's throats…” Riggs scowls. “And it’s working.”

“I’m sorry,” I confess. “I never meant to make it worse.”

“It’s the same as it always was, Cress.”

“Get up.” Rafe’s voice breaks through my half-ass sleep as he drops something on my chest.

“Get out of my room,” I huff and roll over. Sleeping in isn’t a habit I have, but after last night, I needed a few extra hours. I drove across the city telling myself that I was doing it for myself, to clear my head. To get space from her intoxicating gravity. It was easier when she hated me, when she slammed the doors in my face. It gave me a line not to cross, a decision to respect.

Now she’s in my house, in my garage. Back in our lives, and it’s like she never left. Only now she knows. She’s aware of the people we are and… I thought she’d run. I thought that secrets would remind her why she closed that door, but I can smell her shampoo in the air and I can hear the shower running at the top of the stairs.

She stayed.

You told her that it was all for her, and she’s still here.

“Riggs,” Rafe barks and slaps my shoulder with something.

“What?” I sit up in bed with a rough huff and let the sheets pool around my waist with my hand out. Rafe hands me a frame, one from the wall downstairs.

“She always knew what we were up to, half the time before we even got in trouble for it.” He taps the picture of us and Koa’s mother. Akamu.

I grab the frame, staring at us. We were so young. Koa’s bright smile pressed against Cress’s cheek as she beams up at me and Akamu cradles all three of us in her arms. She’s always been here, Koa’s number one confidant. Why didn’t I think of that?

The second Koa’s name was brought into this I should have called his mother.