Page 11 of Violent Skies

“It’s survival, Cress. We did it to provide.”

“Is it?” I start to argue, then close my mouth again. “You jumped at the chance to come over here with me, pushed for the races… it’s like you crave it. That’s not survival.”

“You’re wrong.” She starts to move around the chaos, not really looking for anything. We came for the book and nothing else. Some clothes, what things they didn’t destroy… Riggs argued that staying here was dangerous and they all agreed without my input. “It’s going to save your life,” she corrects me. “It’s not my fault if I have fun while we do it.” The smile that forms on her face is mischievous and wicked.

“I shouldn’t have come to you at all,” I mumble and hear her boots cross the glass and destruction. “Now it’s not just my life at risk.”

“You’re family, Cress. No matter what,” Birdie whispers. Even through death. “Koa made a vow, and we’re here to uphold it.”

2021

“Are you ready?” Birdie tugs on the zipper at my side and closes up the dress. It’s simple, quiet, and delicate. I didn’t want anything fancy, it’s just a renewal. Koa begged, and begged until I was at the point of insanity to have it in the back yard.

It’ll be like a housewarming. I just get to remind everyone how much I love you.

That’s what he’d said, and Koa always got what he wanted.

Birdie’s in a silky black dress that shows off the tattoos she’s starting to collect. At first it made me scowl, to watch her mark her perfect, pale skin. But now, she’s growing into a work of art. “Hopefully I don’t trip in these,” she laughs, backing up from me to grab her heels from the floor.

“You’ll do fine.” I stare at myself in the mirror in the master bedroom, trying to tell myself the same thing. “You’ve come a long way since learning how to walk,” I laugh and she gives me a funny little dirty look in the reflection.

I can see the backyard from the window and he’d out done himself. The entire back yard is covered in soft petals and dark blue linens, so fancy for something so intimate. Today is just for us, for our family but it feels right. It’s been years since Koa and I got married on a whim,his love exploding and consuming every rational thought I had about not getting married at nineteen. But it didn’t matter, not then, not now. Nineteen or twenty-nine, his love is the same. Burning and everlasting.

“Pretty as ever, Birdie.” Riggs breaks the distant thoughts as he enters the room and plants a hand on her back. “Go help Murphy, he’s struggling with his tie and he’s got two more minutes before we find him hanging by it.”

Birdie giggles, low and knowing, before she slips from the room.

“Hi.” I don’t turn from the window but I can see him push a hand into the pocket of his dark jeans out of the corner of my eye.

“Hi,” he grumbles, always the same. “Here.” He holds something out to me and I almost cry at the small blue foil package. Gum. I undo the package and pop it between my teeth and Riggs takes the foil, doing a soft turn, taking in the bedroom as he folds it between his fingers until it resembles a clumsy origami heart. I have hundreds of little folded gum wrappers. All laying around the house. I chew the gum to help my nerves, he folds the foil to help his.

He looks handsome. His dark, shaggy curls are longer and curl around his ears as his blue eyes search the room, landing on everything but me. His jaw tenses and he sniffles, the bridge of his broken and healed crooked nose scrunching up gently. But he’s not dressed for a wedding.

“You’re not staying?” I ask as he drops the heart onto the dresser.

“We can’t all be here to watch you two do this all over again. Someone has to be at the garage,” he lies, his excuse as flimsy as his cold expression. He’s hurt. I can see it in his eyes.

“It’s been ten years, Riggs,” I whisper. “It’s time to let go.”

“Not everything is about you,” he’s quick to snap. The cracked supports around our family waiver in the storm that Riggs creates every time he’s moody. Still sour that he lost the girl to his best friend. “I came to give you this.” He pulls out an envelope from his jeans pocket and hands it to me. “It’s from Koa.”

I take it gently and Riggs shoves his hand back in his pocket. “I’ll be back for dinner. Don’t trip.” He backs away from me, but his eyes never leave mine. Somewhere deep inside my heart the love for Riggs still rumbles, long blanketed by Koa’s affection and care, but warm nonetheless.

PRESENT DAY

“You had a run that day.” I pause, staring at her, so close but still so far away.

“What?” Birdie breaks her concentration.

“The renewal we did, the housewarming that Koa made a huge deal about. Riggs left that day,” I say, and it takes her a moment to think about it, but she sighs with a tiny nod.

“Westfall doesn’t take no for an answer. Uh—Riggs took Jesse so that we could all be here for you and Koa.” Her answer hurts more than I expect it to. For you.

“Why did you leave?”

She swallows tightly. “I didn’t. I was there all day.”

“No, after the funeral,” I correct.