Page 47 of Certified To Handle You 2

“You make it home?” He asked me.

“Yeah, I made it,” I answered as I turned toward the house. “I’m here with my mama now. We talkin’ about what’s goin’ on with my family member, so I’mma call you when we finish, okay?”

“Okay, baby,” Couture replied. “I just wanted to make sure you made it home straight.”

“I did,” I assured him while lookin’ down at the pavement. “I’m good.”

There was a small pause on the phone before Couture spoke again.

“I love you,” he told me.

My feet stopped movin’…

For a second, I really thought I heard him wrong. Couture had shown me in plenty of ways that his feelin’s for me was gettin’ deeper, but hearin’ those words come through the phone right after I had been wrapped in Renza’s arms hit me so damn hard that I couldn’t answer.

“Sha’Nelle?” Couture called after I stayed quiet. “I say somethin’ wrong?”

My eyes filled before I could stop ‘em.

“No,” I answered quick, but my voice cracked enough for me to know he heard it. “No, baby, you ain’t say nothin’ wrong.”

The first tear fell down my cheek, and once that one came, the rest followed so damn fast that I had to cover my mouth for a second. I turned away from the house ‘cause I knew my mama was probably somewhere lookin’ out the window, and I ain’t want her seein’ me outside fallin’ apart.

“You sure?” Couture asked, and I could hear the concern in his voice now.

“I’m sure,” I told him while wipin’ at my face. “I just… I need a minute, baby. It’s a lot goin’ on right now, and I’m overwhelmed as hell.”

Couture stayed quiet for a second before answerin’ me. “A’ight, baby. Take your time. I’m here if you need me.”

That only made the tears come harder.

“Thank you,” I managed to get out while wiping my face again. “I’mma call you later, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied. “Handle what you need to handle.”

After we got off the phone, I lowered it from my ear and stood here in the driveway cryin’ ‘cause I really ain’t know how much more of this shit I could take.

Renza had just stood in front of me tellin’ me he loved me, tellin’ me he missed me and that he wasn’t leavin’ my city until I came back home with him. I could still smell his cologne on my clothes from the way he had held me, and if I was bein’ real with myself, I could still feel his arms around me too.

Then Couture called and told me he loved me for the first time.

I wiped both hands over my face and looked down the street where Renza’s rental had disappeared, but there wasn’t nothin’ there no more.

That should’ve made shit easier, but it ain’t.

If anything, I felt more fucked up than I did before I came home ‘cause I couldn’t lie and say I ain’t feel nothin’ when Renza held me. I damn sure couldn’t lie and act like hearin’ Couture tell me he loved me ain’t just cracked somethin’ open inside me either.

I loved Renza. That was the truth I kept runnin’ into no matter how hard I tried to move around it, but lovin’ him ain’t erase everything between us. It ain’t mean I could hop in his car tonight and go back to Trill-Land like none of this other shit existed.

I looked down at my phone one more time before shovin’ it inside my purse and finally walkin’ toward the house.

At this point, I ain’t know what the fuck I was gon’ do.

All I knew was that Renza was somewhere in my city waitin’ on me, Couture had just told me he loved me and my heart felt like it was gettin’ pulled in two different directions at the same damn time.

Couture had been gone for three days, and I had been tryna keep my mind on anything except the fact that Renza was still somewhere in Greystone City refusin’ to take his ass home.

The day Couture left, I had already been thinkin’ ahead ‘cause I knew how Renza moved when he had some shit goin’ on in his head.