Page 153 of Certified To Handle You 2

I wanted to meet Couture’s family. I wanted to enjoy the day, laugh with his people and keep buildin’ the life we had been puttin’ together. None of that was fake to me. I wasn’t forcin’ myself to care about him, and I wasn’t miserable every time he touched me.

Couture made me happy…

The problem was happiness wasn’t the only thing a person needed.

Somewhere deep inside me, there was a place that stayed hungry no matter how much goodness Couture poured into it.

There was nights when I woke up feelin’ like somethin’ was missin’, and I knew it wasn’t nothin’ Couture could fix by lovin’ me harder.

Renza had left somethin’ inside me that I couldn’t delete with pictures, messages or a blocked number. His absence had become its own presence, followin’ me into quiet rooms and sittin’ next to me whenever everything in my life looked the way it was supposed to look.

I refused to call that love. I called it guilt, history and the aftereffect of dealin’ with somebody as intense as him. I told myself enough time would pass and whatever hold he had on me would loosen.

Two and a half months had already gone by, and it still hadn’t.

Couture squeezed my hand and brought my attention back to him. “You good?” he asked while glancin’ toward me.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I answered as I turned my hand under his and linked our fingers together.

Couture smiled before lookin’ back at the road.

I rested my head against the seat and tried to settle into the life in front of me. We was on our way to his family reunion, where he planned to introduce me to everybody who mattered to him. He had chosen me openly and brought me into every part of his world without ever askin’ me to become somebody else. That should’ve fed every part of me.

Instead, I sat next to a man who loved me right and wondered why my soul still felt hungry.

When we finally made it to the family reunion, Couture parked and looked at me while I stared through the windshield at all the people spread across his grandparents’ land.

The house sat way back from the road with a long gravel driveway that curved through a wide open field. Cars was parked everywhere, and blue tents covered most of the yard with long tables under ‘em. Smoke rolled from two big barbecue pits near the back of the property while old school music played loud enough to reach us inside the car. Kids ran between the tables with cups in they hands, men stood around the pit and women moved back and forth with foil pans like the whole day would fall apart if they stopped workin’ for five minutes.

Everybody had on blue.

Some people wore navy reunion shirts with the family name across the front. Others had on royal blue dresses, light blue shorts or matchin’ sets with white shoes. Even the babies was dressed in blue, and the older women had on they church hats and sunglasses like somebody might take pictures for a magazine.

“You ready?” Couture asked while reachin’ across the center console and takin’ my hand.

I kept lookin’ through the windshield for another second before turnin’ toward him. “You ain’t say all these people was gon’ be here.”

Couture smiled and rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand. “I told you my family was big.”

“You said big,” I replied. “You ain’t say the whole damn city was related to you.”

“That ain’t even everybody,” Couture he before leanin’ over and kissin’ the side of my face. “Come on. You gon’ be straight.”

I looked at him for a second, then down at our joined hands. Couture had been excited about this day for weeks, and I ain’t wanna walk into it lookin’ nervous or actin’ like I ain’t wanna be here. I did wanna be here. I just ain’t expect the reunion to look like somebody had rented out half the countryside.

“A’ight,” I told him. “But if one of them aunties start askin’ me when we havin’ babies, I’m leavin’ you out there by yo’self.”

Couture laughed as he opened his door. “They probably gon’ ask before we make it to the food.”

“That ain’t funny,” I called after him, but he was already walkin’ around the front of the car.

He opened my door and held his hand out. I took it, stepped on the gravel and immediately smelled ribs, smoked chicken and somethin’ sweet comin’ from the tables near the house. My stomach reacted before I could stop it, and Couture looked down at me with a grin. He led me toward the field.

The closer we got, the louder everything became. Somebody was yellin’ near the pits about charcoal. Two men argued over a domino game while everybody around them kept callin’ both of ‘em cheaters. A group of women sat under one of the tents fannin’ theyselves and talkin’ so loud that I could hear pieces of three different conversations at the same time.

Before we made it halfway across the yard, a man near the domino table looked up and shouted Couture’s name.

“There that nigga go!” the man yelled while pushin’ away from the table.