Page 117 of Certified To Handle You 2

“You promise?”

Sha’Nelle paused before answerin’, “Yeah, I promise.”

I held the phone tighter against my ear. “I love you.”

She went quiet again before sayin’ my name like it hurt her to hear me say it.

“Renza…”

That was enough to tell me she wasn’t givin’ it back.

I stared toward the floor and swallowed everything I wanted to say next. “Shit, a’ight then.”

I ended the call before I could sit here beggin’ a woman to love me out loud.

The room felt colder once her voice was gone. For a few minutes, I stayed in the recliner with the phone still in my hand while the blunt burned in the ashtray next to me.

Hearin’ Sha’Nelle had given me the first real breath I had taken in a month.

Losin’ her voice again left me empty all over.

It was Friday night and I was posted up in the section with Blaq and one of our potnas while bottles kept comin’ to the table and the DJ bounced from one song to the next.

The whole club was packed like always, and every few minutes somebody was walkin’ past our section speakin’, dappin’ us up or sendin’ another round over to the table.

Usually, I was in my element in this bitch. Usually, I was crackin’ jokes with Blaq, talkin’ shit, smokin’, drinkin’ and not thinkin’ about nothin’ outside these walls. By the end of the night, we normally had everybody in the section laughin’, and half the club knew where we was sittin’.

Tonight just felt different…

A couple women had wandered over not too long after we got there, and one of ‘em had damn near made herself comfortable next to me. She had been smilin’, rubbin’ on my arm and leanin’ close every time she said somethin’, but I wasn’t really givin’ her nothin’ to work with. I answered when she talked, nodded when I needed to and took another pull from my blunt while my eyes drifted somewhere else.

Blaq looked over at me, then looked at the woman before shakin’ his head.

“Damn, Renza,” Blaqson said, shakin’ his head while he looked from me to the woman sittin’ beside me. “She been throwin’ herself at you for damn near twenty minutes, and you still ain’t gave her nothin’.”

I looked over at Blaq for a second before takin’ another sip of my drink. Then I shrugged one shoulder like it really wasn’t no big deal.

“I guess,” I said.

The woman looked at me like she thought she heard me wrong. She reached over and nudged my shoulder with hers before lettin’ out a lil’ laugh.

“I know you ain’t just say, ‘I guess,’” she said while searchin’ my face for some kinda reaction.

“I did,” I replied. “What else you want me to say?”

She rolled her eyes, but she was still smilin’.

“Well, damn. What I gotta do to get you to loosen up?”

I looked at her for a second before shakin’ my head.

“Nothin’,” I told her. “You cool. I just ain’t on that tonight.”

She studied me like she was tryna figure out if I was playin’, but when she realized I wasn’t, she let out a sigh, slid off the couch and wandered over toward another section where a group of niggas was already lookin’ her way.

Soon as she walked off, Blaqson laughed to himself and pointed his glass at me.

“You cold,” Blaqson said. “Most niggas would’ve been all over that.”