Page 12 of Prickly as a Porcupine
“No.”Ariel sighed and plopped a meatless meatball in her mouth, chewing quickly before continuing.“My brother was a little like that himself.Maybe it’s time for me to finally talk to him.Well, there’s probably a patient I need to chat with, too.I owe her an apology.Heck, there’s probably a lot of apologies I need to give out.”
“Take your time,” Joline soothed, knowing none of that would be as easy as it might sound.There was a lot of hurt done, and everyone reacted in their own ways to apologies.“Remember that actions speak louder than words.Starting this group is a good step to take.”
“And asking them before I bring in a non-survivor is a good way to show that I’m thinking about them.Thank you for suggesting it.”She smiled.“These meatballs are good, by the way.Thank you for the recommendation.”
“Anytime!I’m glad you like them.”Joline watched Ariel as she devoured her food.At least she finally got her appetite back.Joline figured that was a good sign.
As if noticing Joline watching her, Ariel explained, “Shrews need to eat a lot of calories.I’ve not had much of an appetite lately.I probably should slow down, or I’ll make myself sick.”
“No worries.I was just thinking how good it was to see you eating today.You didn’t seem all that hungry yesterday.”
Ariel nodded.“I wasn’t.”
Joline smiled, then dipped her head as her heart jumped a little.She was so glad that Ariel had shown up for dinner, and even more pleased she wanted her to join the support group.She hoped that meant it was okay to bring up the topic of doing something together over the weekend again.
Joline tapped her leg with apprehension.She didn’t want to take away from Ariel’s excitement over her newly formed club, but she had to ask, “Did you ask whoever you need to if you can go to town with me this weekend?”
“No.”Joline’s heart dropped as Ariel shook her head.“Not because I didn’t want to ask, I’m just not sure if that’s a question for my counselor or the agents in charge of me.”
“Oh, okay.”Joline tried not to let disappointment take over.Her reasoning made sense.
“Maybe I’ll ask them both.But..”Ariel stopped, her brow wrinkling in concern.“I’m not sure if I deserve to go to town.I’ve been less than forthcoming in therapy and to the agents who were asking me to help them.That’s why I decided I want to help by starting this club, but I have no right to ask for a favor when I’m not pulling my weight.”
Joline felt her eyes widen.“Whoever told you a thing like that?”When Ariel stared down at her plate, Joline continued, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.It just sounds like that person wasn’t a real friend.It sounds very quid pro quo.”
“But isn’t a trade fair to ask for?”
“It may feel like it’s an even trade, but often a person in power takes advantage of someone and creates an unfair trade.”Ariel looked confused, so Joline tried to explain it another way.“Let’s say you’re sick and not feeling well.I would come over and help you out, knowing you can’t do some of it yourself because you need to rest.I’m not doing that expecting you to give me something in return.Our friendship would be enough for me.And with friends, you’d do something nice for me at some point.But it isn’t expected.It’s given freely.”
Ariel cocked her head sideways, her auburn hair swinging over her shoulders.“That still sounds like a trade to me.”She shrugged before polishing off her food.“Do you think they allow seconds here?”
“Of course they do.”Joline couldn’t believe that Ariel had been here a year and not known that.She’d just talked about how shrews needed a high calorie count, but this whole time she’d been deprived.“Why wouldn’t they?”
Ariel’s face blanched slightly.“You probably don’t want to know what I had to do to get seconds with Dr.Grimm.”
As Ariel left to get more food, Joline felt a tear streak down her cheek.She wasn’t sure what was worse, hearing about the horrors that happened to Ariel, seeing her not fully realize just how bad they were, or knowing that Ariel was so accustomed to bad treatment that she just assumed FUC would be the same.At least Ariel was starting to recognize it all now.Joline helped open that door for her.Guilt stabbed at Joline’s stomach.What if Ariel wasn’t ready for it?
Ariel came back with a full tray and a smile on her face.“They even let me have an extra piece of garlic bread.”When she caught Joline wiping at her face, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I just feel awful about what happened to you.”
Ariel regarded her with her green eyes, a blank expression on her face.“I’m not sure why you would.Some might think I deserve it.”
While Joline thought that could be true—only that other experiments may blame Ariel, not that she actually deserved what happened to her—Joline wasn’t about to admit it.“You didn’t understand what was going on.He brainwashed you.”
“I still don’t know what I think about that, but I’m done talking about it.”
Glad for a change in subject, Joline asked, “If you are able to go to town with me, what’s the first thing you’d want to do?”
Ariel rubbed her chin in thought.Her green eyes lit up.“I want to watch a sunset.”
Joline raised an eyebrow.“That’s all?”
She nodded.“I was kept underground or inside a lot.I can’t remember the last time I saw one.I’m sure I could do it here, but I’m afraid of what people will think if I’m outside alone at dusk.”Ariel’s face dropped, as if remembering something sad or unpleasant.
Wanting to see Ariel smile again, Joline offered a suggestion.“What if we watched it tonight, on campus?And then, if you get permission, maybe tomorrow we can go to the next town over and do everything it has to offer.”
“Really?”she asked, her face lighting up like she was a child on Christmas morning, seeing the ring of brightly wrapped presents around the tree for the first time.
