Page 25 of To Regret a Raven

He smiled in return, sketching a very historically accurate bow. “The pleasure was all mine, m’lady.” And then he straightened and held out a fist to bump. “Seriously, though, that was a ton of fun, and I appreciated the company. I’ll see you Monday.” She nodded and laughed as he clicked his heels on the way back to his car.

She glanced back at her apartment entrance. It was too early for bed, and she didn’t have any urgent assignments to work on. Drie was definitely too hyped up to read a book or watch a movie, so she supposed that left the option of cleaning…She grimaced at the doors and turned away, moving down the sidewalk toward the park she hadn’t visited in months. She had used to go out several times a week to watch the sunset reflect its oranges and pinks in the river below, until it became hers and Fisher’s spot.

She’d avoided it since the breakup because of the memories it held. Technically, they’d met in the library, but it was the park, halfway between their two apartment buildings, where everything had begun. The spot where they’d sat by the water for hours at a time, simply talking.

Her mind was away, lost in the past, as her feet guided her back to the rusty old swing by the river’s edge through muscle memory. And it was for that reason alone that by the time she’d realized the space wasn’t vacant, she was too close to make a stealthy retreat.

Fisher turned slowly in his swing and leaped to his feet, his expression shocked. “Drie! I—uh, you can…” He motioned to the swings. “Do you—well…Ah. Do you want me to go?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t intend to run you off. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

He nodded, settling back down as he inclined his head toward the faded red swing to his left, the one she knew had her initials carved into the leather. Going with her gut, she stepped forward, taking her seat. Her fingers curved around the cracked plastic covering the chains, and she let the toes of her sneakers drag softly in the wood shavings as she swayed, enjoying the gentle breeze, carrying with it the soothing earthy smells of the water.

Drie glanced to her right and smiled softly when Fisher looked away immediately, back out over the river.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her whispered words loud in the quiet space.

That brought his eyes back, his expression the epitome of alarm. “What—” He cleared his throat, his voice still an octave higher than normal when he spoke. “What are you apologizing for?”

She eyed him skeptically. “For not responding to your messages? What did you think I was apologizing for?”

He released a shuddering sigh and dragged a hand down his face. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You…finding someone new, I guess. Leaving town. Giving up on me.”

Drie shook her head. “No. Not at all.”

His grey-blue eyes scanned her face, so earnest in their perusal. “You’re sure?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m angry, and I’m scared, Fisher. I miss you, but I don’t trust you. I want to give it time, but I feel like I’m leading you on and giving you false hope, not knowing how things will turn out.”

“So you’re basically scared that you’ll do to me what I did to you? The irony.” He scoffed, rotating his creaky swing to face hers. “I know you do not intend to hurt me. You’re not cruel. I was awful to you when you deserved a lot better. If you told me to go away right now, that I had fucked us up beyond repair, I would respect that. But I don’twantto go anywhere. And I know that you’re not offering me any promises, but please believe that Iwantto stay right here, beside you, for as long as you’ll let me.”

“But I don’t want you to resent me one day,” she said, twisting her own seat to mirror his. “To have wasted all this time on me, only for it not to work out between us.”

“Drie, I have no interest in dating anyone else. I didn’t even consider it when we broke up. Since the moment we met, you’ve been the only woman I notice, which was another obvious sign that I missed.” He hung his head between them, lifting it just enough to look up at her as he continued. “I fell in love with your cleverness and your kindness and the compassion you have forthe world. Time spent with you is never a waste. And if it only ever leads to us being friends, I’d be proud to call you my best friend.”

Drie’s inhale was unsteady as she eyed Fisher. “You’re getting really good at these speeches.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about what all I should’ve said to you before. And all the things I hope to have a chance to tell you in the future.” He flashed her a weak, sideways smile—a slight curve to one corner of his mouth, just enough to make her breath catch in her lungs. She turned back to the river, and they sat quietly, companionably, as the sun sank inch by inch in the distance, setting the sky and water ablaze.

A short while later,when Drie glanced back from the elevator doors to wave goodbye to Fisher after he’d walked her back home, she could see the flicker of hope in his hesitant wave and his soft smile. And for the first time in months, rather than smothering it with her fear and rage, she let a tiny spark of that hope come to life in herself as well.

14

NO MORE SURPRISES

The door swung open to Fisher’s library, and it felt remarkably like coming home. The smell of book pages and coffee and ink enveloped Drie into the fold, and she took a deep breath, settling into the experience.

One quick glance at the circulation desk let her know he was elsewhere, so she dropped her bag at her favorite desk in the back and wandered through the stacks, dragging her fingertips along the bookshelf to her right.

It was wild to think that it had only been a year since she’d first visited that library and met Fisher. She shook her head, remembering how much time they wasted in the months that followed, dancing around one another.

At first, she just thought that he was the type to get flustered around women. She had been charmed by his stammering and clumsiness—so much so that she couldn’t stay away. But as Drie continued to return in the weeks that followed, she began to notice something new.

Fisher had no issue—none at all—when it came to talking to other women. It was onlyherhe avoided, taking wide detours and clearing out of a space whenever she approached. Shewould’ve been insulted if it weren’t for the thousand times she felt his eyes tracking her around the library.

It wasn’t a secret that he had a crush, but he would never let her get close enough to reveal that it was reciprocated. Drie wasn’t one to rush a situation, so she had settled in for the slow burn. Though…she also didn’t mind helping things along when an opportunity presented itself.

Such an opportunity came in the form of the school newsletter, announcing that the library would remain open over Thanksgiving break. With that knowledge, she’d opted to drive back early. And just as she’d expected, the library was severely understaffed. Fisher’s face had blanched the moment she’d arrived, and it had made her giddy with excitement to have him all to herself.