Page 45 of Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad World

“Thank you.” His voice was low and rough. “I can’t wait to show my kids. Good night, Annabelle.”

Without looking back, he strode from the room, leaving Annabelle alone to wonder if the previous few moments had taken place only in her imagination.

“Coward,”Therese said in disgust as Noah strode into the room.

She stood by the window, arms folded over her form-fitting red minidress and balancing on four-inch heels in matching blood red.

“Don’t start,” he muttered to her as he carefully put the drawing on the top shelf of his closet, where it would be safefrom damage until he could get it home. He closed the door a little more forcefully than intended before getting into bed.

Therese paced beside the window, a scowl on her face.

“I can’t believe you bailed on her like that.”She jabbed her hand in the direction of the panic room.“You were this close”—she held up her index finger and thumb to show him—”to a Hollywood movie first kiss,”she finished dramatically.“And don’t tell me you didn’t want to kiss her. I’ve seen that look in your eyes often enough to know what it means.”

Noah turned away from her, pulled the covers up around him, and punched his pillow—a little too enthusiastically—to make it comfortable.

Unfortunately, that left him facing the panic room, and as he watched, the light went off, plunging it into darkness. Annabelle would be curling up to sleep now, her thick hair spread out around her face on the pillow. Her eyes would close slowly, those dark lashes settling like crescents on satin smooth cheeks. And as she fell into a deep sleep, her full lips would open slightly.

He squeezed his eyes shut against the images inside his head.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Unfortunately, he couldn’t close himself off from the voice in his head.

Noah reopened his eyes to find Therese crouched beside the bed, her anger replaced with compassion. A ghostly hand reached out to stroke his cheek, and he almost believed he felt her caress.

“Noah,”she whispered.“You’ve lived like a saint for five years. You need to move on.”

“I don’t know how,” he whispered back. “I don’t know how to let go of you.”

“Silly man.”She smiled sadly.“You can’t let go of me. I’m a huge part of your life, and our boys are a walking, talking reminder of everything we had. I’ll always be here. But youdon’t need to let me go to create space in your life for someone else. There’s room enough for both of us.”

Noah’s throat tightened around the words he couldn’t get out. Words about fear. About loss. But he didn’t need to express them; Therese knew what he was thinking.

“My poor darling,”she said.“You can’t control who stays and who leaves, and no matter how many barricades you build, you can’t protect yourself against the future. But if you keep trying to do that, you’ll never really live. You have to be brave, Noah.”

Only Therese and possibly his childhood friends could get away with calling him a coward.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, aching deep to his bones.

“Of course you do.”There were tears in her eyes.“But here’s what I’ve learned: people who love deeply are more likely to love again. You can’t help it. There’s too much of it bottled up inside of you, and it has to go somewhere. Plus, you need to think of our boys, Noah. If you’re afraid to let go, afraid to love again, they’ll grow up thinking that’s normal. And you don’t want them to miss out on what we had. What you could have again. Do you?”

“I don’t miss that you were always smarter than me,” Noah said.

“And always right,”she said.“Don’t forget that part.”

“How can I when you’re always here to remind me?”

“Go to sleep.”Therese leaned in to press a whisper-faint kiss to his brow.

Before he could reply, she’d faded away. Leaving him alone, staring at the door to the panic room. The door that led to the most fascinating woman he’d met since Therese’s death. It was only a few short steps from his bed, yet it felt like a chasm.

Do your job, he told himself. Worry about everything else later.

With those thoughts foremost in his mind, Noah fell into a fitful sleep.

Chapter Sixteen

Annabelle woke with a scream, but it was lost in the wailing siren that echoed through the panic room. She threw back the covers, jumped out of bed, and ran for the open door and Noah. They collided halfway.