Page 59 of A Little Bit More

“It can’t be happening right now,” Callum said. “The baby isn’t due for another week. You told me yourself that it would be late. And you haven’t had any contractions. Have you?” He cast a questioning glance at her sisters, but they seemed as confused as he was.

“Been having back pains all day,” Isobel said on a gasp. “I thought it was just part of being hugely pregnant. Or the shoes. I should never have worn those shoes.”

Bloody hell. This wasn’t happening. When he said he was joining them on their girls’ night out in case something happened, he’d meant like her tripping and falling, not the baby coming early. He wasn’t ready for the baby. He’d counted on having another couple of weeks to get ready. Although he was fairly certain that even two years wouldn’t be long enough to prepare himself.

“The baby books say labor can take hours,” he told her reasonably. “There’s still time to get to the hospital.” Where there were medical professionals, and pain medication, and sterile beds instead of carpet that had seen thousands of feet.

“To hell with the baby books,” she snapped. “Get my knickers off before they strangle the baby!”

Someone in the box next to them made a loud shushing noise, which they all ignored.

“Hold her hand,” Donna said as she sat at Isobel’s feet. “I’ll see what’s going on.”

“That is so wrong.” Mairi looked like she was going to vomit. “You can’t check out your sister’s bits. That sort of thing can scar you for life.”

“I’m not checking her bits. I’m checking on the baby. It’s a perfectly natural part of life that family has been helping with since the start of time.” Donna eased Isobel’s underwear down her legs before focusing her attention between them. “Oh!” was all she said.

Callum’s blood pressure shot through the roof. “Oh?” Sweat broke out on his back. “What oh? What does that mean?”

Donna’s eyes grew impossibly large as she pointed between Isobel’s spread knees. “The baby’s head is coming out. There’s no way she can walk like that. She isn’t going anywhere. It looks like the baby’s decided it wants to be born to ABBA music.”

Agnes shot to her feet. “We need a doctor.”

Isobel groaned as her body spasmed with another wave of pain. “I can’t believe this is happening again,” she wailed.

“Again?” Panic surged inside of Callum. “What do you mean again?”

“You two haven’t talked about her previous births?” Donna sounded shocked.

Now that he thought about it, that might have been a good conversation to have. “No,” he said tersely. “Explain.”

“Jack was born in under an hour,” Agnes said. “Sophie, in about forty minutes.”

“She has a really loose vagina,” Mairi said. “Babies just fall out of her. There’s no muscle tone to keep them in.”

Agnes smacked Mairi on the back of the head.

She rubbed the spot. “What was that for? I’m helping.”

“No, you’re not.” Agnes glared at her. “I’m going to find a doctor.”

“Don’t bother; I’ll get one,” Mairi said. And then, before anyone could guess what she was going to do, she leaned over the balcony and shouted at the audience, “Is there a doctor in the house? My sister’s having a baby! We need a doctor! Or a midwife! Or a fireman! Anything. We need help now!”

The singing stopped dead, the music stuttering to a halt a few seconds later.

Mairi took advantage of the silence. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she called to the stage, “but we have a medical emergency. My sister’s having a baby on the floor.”

For a second, there was only stunned silence, and then a voice came over the sound system: “If there’s a doctor in the audience, please make your way to Box…B? Is that Box B?”

The noise in the theater was suddenly deafening as hundreds of people started talking at once.

“I need to push,” Isobel shouted before letting out a strangled scream.

“The head’s coming out!” Donna reached down to support it. “Next time she pushes, I think it will be all the way out. Where’s the doctor? I need something to put under her. I can’t let the baby’s head touch this carpet. Who knows what’s on it?”

“I’ll put my wrap under her,” Agnes said as she did exactly that.

“We’re taking a little break right now, but the show will resume as soon as we’re able,” an actor’s voice sounded from the stage just as Isobel let out another scream.