Page 66 of Keystrokes and Kittens
I laughed.
“Right? See? Do you turn me on? Sure. I’ve felt that way from the start. From the first time we met at Noah and Christian’s wedding. I never thought I’d hit on you, though. Hell, I didn’t even know if you were gay or not. When I saw you in the store, I just thoughtthat guy’s really cute. Kind of sexy. And since you’re buying chew toys for your new dog, maybe now’s not the right time to hit on him?” He squeezed my hand. “Plus…I’m out of practice. I was married for nearly ten years. So, the last time I had to make small talk with someone I wanted to date was—” He squinted. “A long fucking time ago.”
“You didn’t hit on Noah?”
“Nah. He’s adorable. I think I knew, even before he did, that he was meant to be with Christian. And although Dr. Malcolm is a great guy, he didn’t do it for me either. No one has made me want to leave the bubble of my home to get out in the world again. Not until you.”
I had to sit with that. I could take his words at face value—or I could dig deeper. “What if this is it? What if holding hands, cuddling, and kissing is all I can give you?”
“Then I’d consider myself to be the luckiest man ever. Sam, as sexy as you are, that’s not why you’re in my bed. That’s not why I’ve held your hands and cuddled and kissed you.” He tapped my forehead. “You have so much to offer me. I’m not even looking at the practicality of it.”
I squinted. “What does that mean?”
“Well, people get married for all kinds of reasons. Some are…practical.”
“We’re talking about marriage?” I might’ve squeaked that.
He laughed. “Uh. No. Well…not yet.”
“Okay.” Said with no small amount of caution.
“I’m saying that you moving in here was practical. You needed help. I needed to feel needed.”
“That’s a lot of needing.”
“Yep. But you gave me a purpose. Yes, I love my job. For sure, I’ve got a great friendship with Lolita. Christian and Noah are awesome. But, aside from my job and Tibby, I haven’t had a reason for pushing forward. Getting Tibby certified as a therapy dog is as far as I’ve pushed my little world recently. You gave me a chance to change the script. To step outside of my comfort zone.”
“Okay.”Where is he going with this? I’m so confused.I wasn’t even going to touch the marriage issue.
“Look…you’ve wormed your way into my heart. Without even trying. You and Peaches and Jack. I look into the future, and I hope to fuck you pick me because I see only bleakness if you’re not here.”
“Oh.” Because that was about as articulate as I was capable of being. I licked my lips. “I’m trying to understand.”
“Well, I’m trying to be honest about why you’re in my bed. But it’s two in the morning, and maybe I’m not making myself clear.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
The displaced air ghosted over my skin.
“I love you.”
I blinked. Several times. Not because he was shimmering in my vision. Not because I was about to start crying.
“Sam?” Asked with the ultimate gentleness.
Overwhelmed. I just couldn’t believe he’d said that to me. And I couldn’t believe what my heart was telling me to do. “Yeah. Okay. Uh…me, too.”
Another exhalation. “Really? Because I don’t want you to think that you have to say that. I probably shouldn’t have said something so soon—”
I placed a hand on his lips. “Hush. Just for a moment.”
He nodded, but didn’t try to dislodge my finger.
Still, I pulled it back. “You caught me off-guard. Yes, you gave me signs. Little things you’ve said and done over the last day or so. But I thought those were meant to convince me to move in. Although I suppose they were because the goal was the same. Right?”
Again, he nodded.
“I don’t have a lot of experience with love. From my parents and Lucius and Marcella? Absolutely. Of course Quinta. She’s my heart. I’d do absolutely anything for her.” I sighed. “Even if that means letting her go to live her own life.”
“Three weeks.” Whispered softly.
