Page 64 of Keystrokes and Kittens

I caressed his cheek yet again. He’d shaved this morning, so his five o’clock shadow was less pronounced than mine. “Yes. Truly. And you might be thinking that I’m just saying it because of…whatever. I’m not. I’m saying that if you got up and left at this moment, that I’d lie here and smile. Unless you took off because I did something wrong.”

“You didn’t. You haven’t.” He rolled his eyes. “Why am I having trouble finding words when words are so damn important?”

“Shush. Don’t stress. You’re saying the exact right words. I’m here for you. Whatever that looks like.”

For the umpteenth time, he nodded. That didn’t give me clarity, necessarily, but he also didn’t back away. In fact, he scooted closer. “May I have a cuddle?”

I tweaked his nose. Because, in the moment, that felt like the right thing to do. “Of course you can. Preference? You the big spoon, me the big spoon, me on my back and you against me, or the other way?”

“How do you sleep? Normally.”

“Facing the window. On my right side. But I flip to my left just as easily. I’m not a huge fan of sleeping on my back—”

“Bad for your back.”

“Sure. And because I snore when I sleep like that. Used to drive my wife nuts. Come to think of it, I probably shouldn’t be discussing her while you’re in bed with me.” I rolled my eyes.

Sam chuckled. “I don’t mind. I’m not jealous. Not really. More worried you might compare her to me and find me lacking.”

“Nope. She’s from a different era in my life. The past. I wish her well. Oh, did I mention she remarried a couple of months ago? Some really old guy. But he makes her happy, so I wish them well.”

“That’s big of you.” He held my gaze. “I don’t know if I’d be so magnanimous.”

“I hold no ill will. Life’s too fucking short for that. Or for regrets. If I let you go—without telling you how I feel—then I’ll have all kind of regrets.” I gazed into his eyes. “So…are you the big spoon or am I?”

“Me? I feel like that’ll give me—” He swallowed.

“More control?” I offered the words gently.

He nodded.

I pressed a kiss to his lips and turned around. As I settled myself, the bed dipped a bit and soon he pressed himself against me.

“Like this?” He threaded his arm under mine and pressed a hand to my sternum.

“How does it feel?”

“Strange.” That came out fast.

I waited.

“But also…good. Like—” He exhaled. “Nice.”

I chuckled. “Nice is all I ask for. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “In case I haven’t told you lately—you’re an awesome person. And I’m lucky to have you in my life.”

“Ditto, Sam. Ditto.”

He let out a long breath.

I watched the moonlight dance along the lake as the wind pushed the waves toward shore.

A sense of calm enveloped me.

On that note, I fell asleep.

Chapter Seventeen