Page 30 of Criminally Yours
“Strike said you’re a counsellor.”
“I am,” she replied. “My clients come to me about all sorts of things.”
“Right.”
He cleared his throat several times.
“When people speak to you, does it remain confidential?” There it was. Her instincts were fucked around Strike, but they still worked with others.
“When I’m counselling, it does, unless it’s something that could harm the client or others.”
He paused as she rubbed grease from the bacon dish.
“I got news a fortnight ago,” he revealed. “Only Strike’s parents know, not the team.” Millie nudged her glasses with the back of her wrist as she continued to wash plates for Stal to dry. “I got a woman pregnant. She was a one-night stand. I only found out when she left a two-week-old outside my house and bolted.”
“That’s a lot to deal with suddenly. How are you doing?”
He sighed loudly. “Badly.”
“How come?”
“I never expected to be a dad, and I’m not sure I wanted to be, but now I’m a single dad, and I’ve no clue what I’m doing. I didn’t know my own well. We moved a lot when I was a child. He was in the army as well.”
“Is your mum around?”
“Yeah, she’s perfect,” he said softly, “but she lives in the Midlands. Jenny—the kid, my kid—and I moved in with Strike’s parents secretly a fortnight ago.”
“How’s that been?”
“They’re supportive, brilliant really, but I’m so tired, and I’ve no idea what I’m doing.” His voice cracked. He cleared histhroat and held his tea towel tight to his chest. “Suddenly, I have to care about someone other than myself. I need to give a future to this crying, hungry stranger.”
“How does caring about her feel?”
“Weird.” His eyes were glassy as he winced. “There’s this pull on my heart to protect Jenny even now. How can I have the life I have now while raising her? As a bodyguard, I’m always travelling and facing constant uncertainty. And I can’t get attached to her because her mum could return and take her. I’ve searched for her, but I don’t even know her name. I don’t know what to do or who to speak to. Since Jenny came into my life, I’m terrified all the time.”
It wasn’t unusual for people to open up readily to a stranger, yet she was surprised every time.
“You haven’t told your team about Jenny?”
“No. I don’t know how they’ll react. But it’s getting harder to do this job when I’m managing sleepless nights and exhausting days.” He rubbed his head. Millie caught the shape of Strike in the doorway, watching. “What should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“To tell them. I can’t do this without them knowing, but what do I say?”
Millie beckoned Strike over with a hand movement so slight Stal wouldn’t see it.
“From everything I’ve seen, you’re part of a team that cares. You joke around, but there’s much more to you all. And to be honest, Strike overheard us.” Stal turned to him. “I’ll leave you two to chat. I’ll be in one of the spare bedrooms if you need me. But you can do this. Most people prepare for months for a baby and have planned its arrival. You won’t get it right, but you’re not alone either.”
Stal embraced her. “Thank you, Millie. Strike was right. You’re amazing.”
Before she questioned his statement, Strike eased his handon Stal’s shoulder. “Let’s take a walk. I want to hear about Jenny. I bet you’ve got photos.”
Stal’s lips stretched into a smile. “A couple hundred.”
“I’d like to see them.”
Millie left the kitchen and headed to her room to rest. She’d not spent this much time with people in years.
