Page 24 of Criminally Yours

Tears blurred his vision, but still, he didn’t stop. Instead, he continued shouting his anguish as he pushed his muscles to the point of injury.

“Strike, stop,” Millie shouted from the doorway.

He re-racked the barbell. His breathing was erratic but easing a little from the rollercoaster pace it was reaching.

“What were you doing? You could have hurt yourself.”

He refused to look at her, instead focusing on the scuff mark on the white wall of Bear and Liss’s home gym. He pushed away the tears that collected in his eyelashes, desperately hoping she didn’t catch the movement.

“You’re not going to talk to me?” Millie pressed. “You don’t get to be angry with me after what you heard. You need to let me in.”

“Why do you care?” he mumbled, catching her dark-rimmed eyes and tight lips. “I hurt you, remember?”

“I never thought you were affected by it as well. I know, worst counsellor ever,” she said, forcing humour into the conversation. “I don’t like to see you hurting or suffering, even after everything.”

“I deserve to suffer after what I did.”

She neared him, not touching, but bringing enough calm for him to regulate his thoughts.

“Maybe you’ve suffered enough. We were kids, making mistakes and saying things we probably shouldn’t have. But if I’m going to accept you as my bodyguard and put my faith in knowing you’re going to keep me safe, I can’t have you injuring yourself. Okay?”

He stared at her, words trapped underneath his tongue. He’d made promises to her and broken them. Could he offer her anything but protection now?

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. Be the man I need right now. Promise me.”

He hesitated, but the sadness in her eyes broke his resolve. “I promise.”

They used to have a special way of making promises to each other, but that involved touch. That had been the promise of friends, even lovers. This was just work.

“Good. I can’t bear to see the man I used to love suffer, even after everything,” she mumbled as she left the room.

He flexed his jaw.

Used to love.

She may have stopped, but he never would.

He didn’t know how, but his brief chat with Millie had eased some of his self-hatred. However, frustration still dogged him.

His grumbles reverberated off the floor as he walked into the dining room.

“You okay?” Bear asked.

He grunted without making eye contact.

“Talk to me.”

He scowled at the breakfast Bear had lovingly prepared. “I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“None of us did.”

He gritted his teeth so tightly, his jaw ached.

“You never told me why you left and joined the army,” Bear pressed.

“I made a decision based on the information available to me. In hindsight, it was wrong.”

Even with his head dropped, he caught the withering roll of Bear’s eyes. “And the less robotic version? I’m your mate, not one of the squaddies you commanded.”