Page 24 of A Most Favourable Match

Sometimes Elizabeth thought she would be very glad never to fall in love or marry, and therefore never have to face such wildly perplexing conundrums.

“I suppose I will find it very hard to leave Longbourn when the wedding takes place,” Jane admitted, looking down at the ground. “I do not want to leave you, dear Lizzy, especially.”

“Oh, Jane,” said Elizabeth affectionately, standing to hug her sister close. “I shall always come and visit you, wherever you and Lord Grantchester decide to settle in the end. You will never have to choose between me and the man you love.”

∞∞∞

“Gone away back to London already? How very odd of Mr Bingley,” sniffed Mrs Bennet when Jane and Elizabeth had relayed the news back to their family at the supper table, the meal having been ready almost assoon as they reentered the house. “Still, he may do as he pleases, I suppose.”

“At least he has taken Mr Darcy away with him, Mother,” remarked Elizabeth. “That is one supper guest you will not have to concern yourself with. Be content with that.”

“Yes, I’m glad he is gone from the neighbourhood. What a proud, rude kind of man he is! I cannot understand why Lord Grantchester and Lord Keeble seemed to set such store by him.”

“They assured me he has hidden depths,” Elizabeth told her mother with a disbelieving smile and was gratified by a snort of equal incredulity.

“The neighbourhood is well rid of Mr Darcy, even if he does own half of Derbyshire. Lord Grantchester and Lord Keeble will be back soon enough, I’ll warrant. Hmmm. If Mr Bingley is going to stay in London, perhaps Elizabeth should go and stay with the Gardiners again.”

“I shall be staying with Jane at Longbourn,” Elizabeth told their mother firmly. “If this is to be her last year with us, I want to make the most of it.”

“Of course, dear Lizzy. But you must get your own husband as well as helping Jane with her wedding preparations. It is a shame that Mr Bingley could not stop a week or two longer and join us for a family supper.”

“Well, clearly he could not,” Elizabeth replied. “You might as well put him from your mind, Mother. I assure you that he will not be in mine.”

“It is probably just as well,” Mr Bennet said, looking up from the letter he had been reading while eating his lamb chop and minted peas.

“What do you mean, ‘just as well,’ Mr Bennet?” demanded his wife, ready to work herself into a temper. “It sometimes seems to me that you would be happy enough for none of your daughters to marry. They will all be old maids. Then, when you die —”

“It is just as well that we will not have a large party of guests for supper next week,” Mr Bennet clarified, interrupting his wife’s unfolding wrath. His eyes twinkled mischievously over the top of his silver-framed spectacles. “I am expecting my cousin, Mr Collins, to visit us, and I have the feeling that his visit will occupy the family’s full attention.”

“Mr Collins?!” questioned Mrs Bennet, seeming in two minds over whether she ought to be angry or not. “Mr Collins, who is to inherit Longbourn, and may turn us all out of the house before you are even cold in your grave?”

“The very man,” confirmed Mr Bennet nonchalantly, helping himself to more buttered potatoes from the dish. “Although I would rather not discuss my own demise again over the supper table, Mrs Bennet.”

“But why should he come here to Longbourn, of all places? You have not spoken to your cousin for years, and I have never even met him. Does he wish to gloat over the entail before our very faces?”

“I do not imagine so, Mrs Bennet, for he has recently taken holy orders. I believe the church takes avery dim view of gloating among the clergy.”

Elizabeth caught Jane’s eye, and the sisters exchanged a smile at these gravely declared but deliberately rather ridiculous statements from their father. The interplay between their utterly dissimilar parents was too familiar to be of much interest, but the proposed visit of their mysterious cousin was intriguing.

“Do tell us why he is coming, Father,” Elizabeth urged him. “There must be a story to Mr Collins’ visit.”

Mr Bennet chuckled and shuffled the pages of the letter before clearing his throat.

“Oho, Mr Collins certainly has his stories, Lizzy. Listen to this, everyone:

“Mindful as I am of the rift between my late father and yourself, Sir, I hope you will not take it amiss that I see my duty in mending this break between our branches of the family. As a man of the church, I must promote peace and unity wherever I go, and such duties begin at home.”

“How wise he sounds,” remarked Mary, even as Lydia giggled and Elizabeth shared another look of amusement with Jane.

“If you say so, Mary,” replied their father with a raised eyebrow. “But if healing the family breach is not reason enough for his visit, Mr Collins gives us several more:

“My noble patroness, the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Rosings, has been urging me to visit Longbourn since I first took up the living of Hunsford. Asheir to Longbourn, she considers it would be foolish to proceed further in life without any preparation for my future expectations —”

“He does gloat!” exclaimed Mrs Bennet. “Clergyman or not, he is gloating. Did you hear his words? Longbourn is to be his, and he wishes to come here and gloat over it even while you still live, Mr Bennet.”

“No, no,” Mr Bennet said, hardly able to speak for laughing. “You have the wrong end of the stick entirely, Mrs Bennet. I have saved the best until last, and I give the girls fair warning now to guard their reactions:

“You should also know that Lady Catherine urges me to marry, marriage being the right and proper state for any clergyman. I am keen to gratify her ardent desires —”