Page 99 of Grasp The Moment

She seems to weigh her options of what to tell me before shrugging and turning her entire body toward me, grabbing my hands with her tiny ones.

“I don’t know what Papá did, but he’s not a mean person…” She trails off, her brows creating a line in her forehead as she chews her bottom lip before nodding. “He’s just a boy, Mamá … They’re dumb.”

I don’t mean for my bark of laughter to be so loud as she holds back a giggle of her own.

“They’re very dumb, girly pop… How about this: we ignore the dumb boys of the world and watch a movie. How does that sound?”

Delilah’s eyes are bright as she agrees, and soon enough, the two of us find ourselves watching a new movie about race cars in bed. She and I share a small bag of popcorn, laughing and creating small jokes about the movie. The more time Delilah and I spend together, the more she inspires me not only to be a better person but also to follow my dreams. Whenever Imention designing clothes, her eyes brighten, and if I mention a new piece, she begs to see it.

She tugs at the sleeve of my pajama shirt, her doe eyes round and sparkly as she gives me a worried look. Without question, I pause the movie and give her my full, undivided attention. Even though she’s only four, she notices everything. She’s very inquisitive and is keen on helping others, which is why it doesn’t surprise me one bit when she tries to help her father.

“My papá loves you a lot…” she mumbles, and her words take me back.

Derek loves me?

“I’ve never seen him so happy before. He gets excited when he sees you, like how I get excited when Aggy lets me dress her up. He waits for you, and when you go to sleep in the car, sometimes I see him look at you.” She becomes shy as she speaks, ducking her head as a blush creeps across her face, but she presses on, “I know that he did something bad, but please don’t leave us. I think it’ll hurt him a lot if you do.”

The organ in my chest grows triple.

Please don’t leave us.

I nod, pulling her into my lap, and wait for her to look at me. When she does, a smile breaks out on my face, and I pull her into my chest, cradling her.

If there is one thing that I’ve learned about myself since our marriage began, it’s that I would never ever think about giving this family up.

We may have some issues, and we definitely aren’t doing things in the traditional sense, but two things remain true.

Derek and Delilah are my family, and I love them more than anything.

I kiss the top of her hair. "I'll never leave the two of you, Deli Belly. We’re a family.”

She perks up in my arms and cuddles deeper into my chest. “Mean it?”

“I mean it, Sunshine.”

38.Derek

The moment Delilahwalked out of the house last night to check on Georgia, I felt like my heart was ripped out for the second time.

I want to be there with them, to laugh and watch the silly little movies that they tend to like. I want to create inside jokes with them and be there with my girls. Instead, I’m standing outside, wishing I could turn back time as my life continues on without me.

Georgia loves me.

I close my eyes. The of her crying as she yelled that she loves me is both poetic and painful as I fight the urge to go to her right now and comfort her, but I can’t.

She wants space—needs it, and I respect that. If space is what she wants, then I’ll give her the solar system as long as she’s the sun and I’m Mercury. I’ll give her all the space she needs as long as I can orbit around her.

“Fuck.” I run a hand through my messy curls, cringing when my finger gets stuck in a tangled one as footsteps approach.

It’s been twelve hours since she and I spoke. Five hours since I finished cooking the last of my dishes and baked goods for my wife, and twenty minutes since I finished my second project for her.

I can’t buy Georgia’s love, I mean, you’ve met her. You know my wife just as well as I do, but Icanshow her my love for her in other ways. An apology is one thing, but action? Action is a completely different ballgame.

I stroke Nora’s mane, silently comforting myself. I don’t think I can handle any more drama or arguments… ever.

“I heard you two arguing last night. I think NASA might’ve heard you guys too.” Mamá says almost as soon as my thoughts clear, and I slump my shoulders.

Were we that loud? I grimace, scrunching my nose because yeah… We werethatloud.