Page 109 of Lyric Squared

“This can't be life,” I moaned, finally able to lift myself up.

Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I rinsed off at the sink. As I stared back at my reflection in the mirror, I was beginning to think that whatever was going on with me might’ve been more than a stomach bug. I’d watched my best friend struggle through the beginning of two pregnancies and the symptoms were identical. Her body was trying to get acquainted with its new addition which led to morning sickness, fatigue,fever, and a list of other things. I pulled the door of the restroom open with heavy thoughts and an even heavier heart.

“I see you done went and got yourself into some trouble,” my mother said as I exited.

I wasn’t expecting to see her on the other side of the door. I’d thought she was busy with the girls but there she stood. With her arms folded at her chest and furrowed brows, she stared at me. I imagined I looked like a total mess. It felt like it.

“I see you’re following me and assuming things that just aren’t accurate.” I yawned, exhaustion hitting me hard at once.

“Lyric, answer this one question for me,” she insisted.

“I’m listening, Mom.”

“When was the last time you saw red, red blood? Ya know, had your period.”

“Emorey was sick a few days ago, Mom. Have we forgotten? I kept her. Nearly half her class was out with the same stomach bug. She passed it along and now I’m not sure if I’m coming or going.”

“Um, hmmm.”

“Mom, I haven’t gotten into trouble. Not yet. Besides, I haven’t seen Keanu since Valentine’s Day. That was four weeks ago,” I explained to her.

“And why not?”

“His obsession with my brother’s knowing our status caused him to blow up on me. He gave me a month to tell Luca and Laike, then got upset because I wouldn’t tell them sooner. I’m not sure what his deal is and neither am I trying to find out. Maybe it’s best that he be with someone who he doesn’t have to conceal his adoration for. I wasn’t asking him to wait a lifetime. Just a little while to make sure that we were perfect for each other. Valentine’s Day only proved that we weren’t.”

“Lyric, you two have a lot to learn, baby. This isn’t the end of the road. Trust me. You two have at least eighteen more yearsof each other’s bullshit. Trust me when I tell you that it ain’t the type of bug you think it is crawling around your stomach,” my mother preached. “So prepare to make amends, and I’m going to start preparing for the new member of the Eisenberg crew.”

“Mom, you’re being dramatic.” I huffed.

“I’ve had three, Lyric. I can practically smell the motherly scent we all possess coming from your pores.”

“Uh. Maybe because I’ve been playing momma bear for the last two hours since Luca showed up with the girls,” I reminded her.

“This has nothing to do with the girls.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

Folding my arms, I rested my head on the wall behind me. I felt like my world was spiraling out of control. Instead of crying on my mother’s shoulder like I truly wanted to, I maintained my pride and waited for whatever was next to come from her mouth.

“It’s not about what I want you to say. You don’t have to say anything. It’s what I want you to do and that’s schedule an appointment with your physician. But, before you do that, I want you to go home and get some rest. Don’t even think about opening your laptop. Go home and get some rest. And, when you wake up, I want you to consider how you’re going to approach your brothers and father with this because playtime is over. It’s time to put your big girl panties on,” my mother expressed before leaving me standing in the hallway with my heart on my sleeves.

I could feel the tears hit my cheeks as I exited her building. My trip to the car felt unnecessarily long and even more tiring than the trip I’d made going into the daycare. And the second I settled in, the levees broke.

My chest sank and then rose again, sank and then rose again. I could feel my shoulders as they shook uncontrollably, with each whimper. The tears fell freely in the palms of my handswhere I rested my head. Life for me was happening and it was happening whether I wanted to participate or not.

To make matters worse, the one person in the world I wanted to call wasn’t available. She was busy preparing for another monumental event that would expand their family and be remembered for years and years to come. As much as I loved my solitude, right now I wanted my best friend. I needed her, but my crisis wasn’t her emergency and knowing that, I tried my hardest to pull myself together. It was better said than done because the tears just kept coming.

Saltiness seeped into my mouth, settling on my tongue as I wept. The emotions I’d bottled up for the last nearly four weeks came crashing down on me at once. Every part of my frame shook from the heart-shattering tears that fell from my eyes.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. The thought resurfaced over and over while I spent a full twenty minutes in my truck trying to pull it together. My eyes revisited the door of my mother’s building to make sure that she hadn’t decided to come outside. The last thing I needed was her standing over me, telling me what I already knew to be true. It would only be salt on the wounds that were already there.

When the tears stopped long enough for me to see clearly, I started my engine and pulled out of the parking lot. My stomach growled, but I was too afraid to eat anything. The way I’d been hunched over the toilet all morning, food was the last thing on my agenda. Even the thought of it was revolting. So, instead of stopping for food, I made the short drive home. Settling for water and rest was more of my speed. Anything else would take too much effort and be far too great of a risk.

I awakenedfrom my slumber with an appetite and swollen eyes from the crying that continued until I was sound asleep, cuddled with the blankets that caught the tears my tissue didn’t. Although my head was pounding from starvation, I felt so much better than I did when I’d gone to sleep.

5:22p. I’d slept the entire day away. As well rested as I was, it was worth it. Seeing as though I only had a few minutes to pick the girls up before my mom’s center closed, I decided to grab them and then something to eat for us all.

Notifications filled the screen of my cell. Some from Luca and one from Ever. Laike had called, and I had a few numbers I didn’t recognize. There was also one from my mother letting me know that she’d drop the girls off around 5:30p. Before I was able to respond to the message she’d sent me, her name appeared on the screen.