Page 105 of Shattered Oaths

I want to ask her how she feels about it being negative. Is she happy? Relieved? Or does she feel the same disappointment I do?

Is it completely selfish of me to feel disappointment?

I open my mouth and snap it shut again, having no fucking idea what I’m supposed to say next, but thankfully Bella speaks first.

“I realised my period was late this morning before I threw up and with all the stress, I haven’t been the best at keeping up with my birth control, so I just thought…” she stops.

“For those few hours, I truly believed I was pregnant. And I was terrified. I’m not ready to be a mom yet, Noah. My life is a fucking mess.I’ma mess.”

“You’re not a mess, Bells. You’re going through a lot,” I correct, finding my voice for the first time in minutes.

She laughs but it lacks humour. “But that’s the thing. I’m dealing with so much shit that the last thing I need right now is to bring a baby into the world. And yet, when I turned that test over and it was negative, all I felt was… sad.”

My tense body relaxes at her words; at the feeling that it’s not just me who’d felt the loss of the what if.

I push her hair behind her ear and grip her chin gently. “It’s okay to feel sad, baby. I’m sad, too.” I admit.

“You are?” she asks, her bloodshot, hazel eyes boring into mine.

“Yeah,” I whisper my own truth.

Her eyes flick back and forth between mine, assessing me and I smile at her softly.

“Will you go somewhere with me?”

CHAPTER 46

BELLA

The wind whips against my face, my hair flying loosely behind me as Chance gallops beside Noah as he rides Grayson’s horse, Casper.

As soon as Noah led me to the barn and tacked up two horses, I knew where he was taking me. And I’ve never been more thankful.

For the first time in weeks, there’s a genuine smile on my face as we race toward the thick tree line where I know Noah’s favourite place is hidden beyond.

In the ten minutes since I climbed up onto Chance’s back, I’ve not thought about the problems and grief that have been weighing me down. My mind is blissfully empty as I put every ounce of my trust into the horse between my legs and let him carry me away from the real world for a little while.

Noah’s smile is wide beneath his cowboy hat as he and Casper fly past me and I pull back slightly on Chance’s reins, giving him the signal to slow down. I want to drag this feeling out for as long as possible.

We slow into a trot as the trees get closer and Noah casts a quick glance over his shoulder, slowing when he notices us fall back. He brings Casper to a complete stop and spins so that they’re facing me as we close the space between us.

“You okay?” He asks, slightly breathless from the ride. His cheeks are flushed red, his hazel eyes shining with a happiness I haven’t seen in him in a while.

“Yeah.” I nod. “Just want to soak this up.”

His expression softens. “We can keep riding for a bit?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s fine. The horses could use a break.”

Noah chuckles. “They’re work horses, Bells. They’re used to it.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll take the long way home.”

Noah nods, a smirk on his face but doesn’t say anything more as he turns around and continues into the forest.

My eyes take a moment to adjust to the drastic change in light as we trot into the shaded area, along the path that leads to the water.

Just like last time, the horses drink from the stream and Noah and I take a seat on the grassy bank, nature playing like a soundtrack around us. It’s so peaceful out here. It almost feels as though I’m miles away from home in an enchanted forest.